Jokes under Sex and shit > Sadomasochism
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I was at an S&M party with my cock in this woman's arse and she moaned, "Aren't you going to spank me?" It was at that point I realised I'd forgotten my toys. "For fuck's sake," I thought to myself. "I'm up shit creek without a paddle." |
 
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| My wife and I are into S&M...... She sleeps, I masturbate. |
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Joke
by dickiebee in Sex and shit - Sadomasochism - Added: 4 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 236.4
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Someone paid £19,000 to have an hour with Simon Cowell, I asked myself for £19,000 for an hour with Simon Cowell what would I do? Well do you know the scene from Casino Royale, where James Bond is tied up naked to the seat with no bottom to it while being whipped with the rope with a big knot in the end of it attached to electrodes? Well I would let him do that to me for an hour. |
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Joke
by stevo21 in Sex and shit - Sadomasochism (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 213.2
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I really regret subscribing to a sadomasochistic text chat service. I replied STOP, so they sent even more. |
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Joke
by MilesOffTheMark in Sex and shit - Sadomasochism - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 190.8
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A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month.
A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, fea [...] |
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Joke
by knuffles in Sex and shit - Sadomasochism - Added: 5 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 162.8
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I just called the S&M hotline but no one answered... They're probably all tied up. |
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Joke
by runnydundiddy in Sex and shit - Sadomasochism - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 134.8
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One of the girls at the local S&M club had a birthday last week. We had a whip round for her. |
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Joke
by rolodex27 in Sex and shit - Sadomasochism - Added: 5 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 110.4
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This isn't just any gimp mask. This is an S&M gimp mask. |
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Joke
submitted by cb, originally by Hugh Dennis in Sex and shit - Sadomasochism - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 101
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Had a few too many in the pub the other night. I was talking loudly about my bizarre sexual practices and how I love S+M. A bloke came up to me and told me I was disgusting and if I didn't pipe down he would beat me within an inch of my life. I said 'I don't think you have really thought this one through have you?' |
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Me and my girlfriend had a pillow fight in bed last night. She struggled for quite some time, but I held it down tight until she finally stopped moving. |
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Joke
by The Brutal Truth in Sex and shit - Sadomasochism - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 65
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