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Jokes under Illness and mortality > Kleptomania

163418
I saw a shoplifter walking out of the paki shop today with a pack of bacon, as he walked out of the door Ali shouted "Oy, what do you think your doing with that"? "Eggs, beans and sausages you black cunt" said the shoplifter. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by sickusmaximus in Other - Professions (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 118.6


1345090
"Doc, my kleptomania problem with small computer devices is getting way out of hand. What can I do?"

"Keep taking the tablets." 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Admiral Anus in Illness and mortality - Kleptomania - Added: 9 months ago - Current Score: 51




819805
I bought a book today called "Overcoming Kleptomania"

Well, I say bought... 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by brettapotomus in Illness and mortality - Kleptomania - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 28.2


1005780
I got talking to this guy who's a compulsive thief. I said, "So you're a klepto..."

"... maniac", he finished.

Took the word straight from my mouth. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by seamboyseam in Illness and mortality - Kleptomania - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 27.2


1463998
I'm knackered. Had to climb 10 flights of stairs to get to my Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting.

One of the other members had taken the lift 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Timmytour in Illness and mortality - Kleptomania - Added: 3 weeks ago - Current Score: 24.8


896625
Did you know you can spin your head around really quickly and catch your ear in your mouth.....clapping gives extra momentum......... I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Tobo in Illness and mortality - Down's Syndrome (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 23.8


781618
I took a urine test at the hospital today.

My kleptomania is getting out of hand. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by WayOutWest in Illness and mortality - Kleptomania - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 22.2


810360
I've got 'the black disease'

Or Kleptomania as my doctor calls it. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by rkeeno in Racism - Black (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 17.8


1066169
I'm seeing a therapist to help with my kleptomania, and I have taken something valuable away from every session. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by I_only_shot_4_iPhones in Other - Wordplay (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 14.6


353885
I hate being a Kleptomaniac, I just can't take anymore. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Unassigned in Illness and mortality - Kleptomania - Added: 3 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 13.6



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