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Jokes under Illness and mortality > Breathing Problems

55097
I used to think I was the world's greatest lover, till I discovered my girlfriend had Asthma I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke submitted by Unassigned, originally by Ken Dodd in Illness and mortality - Breathing Problems - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 493.6


713476
I didn't realise my girlfriend could do such a brilliant Darth Vader impression.

Although, I don't recall Darth Vader ever saying "Please... give me back... my inhaler." 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Jimbo29 in Illness and mortality - Breathing Problems - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 415.4




177508
My girlfriend says that I don't do anything to 'take her breath away'.

I've hidden her inhaler - that should do the trick. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by danny75078 in Illness and mortality - Breathing Problems - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 308.6


925732
I've been gasping for a fag all day.

Which is one of the problems of being an asthmatic homosexual. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by nobscratcher in Sex and shit - Gay (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 274.2


347748
When I was a child, I used to love watching Blue Peter.

Not the TV programme, the kid from school. I used to steal his inhalers. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke submitted by MICK THE MAG, originally by Milton Jones in Illness and mortality - Breathing Problems - Added: 3 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 224.8


1016325
As we prepared for our son's eighth birthday, he suddenly became quite anxious.
"What's the matter darling?" asked my wife.
He didn't reply, his breathing just became more erratic.
"Shit," shouted my wife, "I think he's hyperventilating."
"Quick, pass me a balloon," I said.
"I thought you're supposed to use a brown paper bag," answered my wife.
"Fuck that, I'm not blowing up a hundred balloons by mys [...]

 I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by emptyhead in Illness and mortality - Breathing Problems - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 193


53292
Laughter is the best medicine.

Unless you're asthmatic and then it's Ventolin. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by barnsleyben in Illness and mortality - Breathing Problems - Added: 4 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 141.2


271507
The wife’s just choked to death on some ink smudged paper whilst eating dinner.

It was my signature dish. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by abudanta in Illness and mortality - Breathing Problems - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 72.4


119215
I'm allergic to rice.

I'm basmatic. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by MICK THE MAG in Illness and mortality - Breathing Problems - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 55.4


428734
My wife's running in a 'race for life' today.
It's 10 miles and I've hid her inhaler. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke submitted by Cabron Monoxide, originally by Mr Stu Pidtwat in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 53.2



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