Jokes under Sex and shit > Lap Dance
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"I want to see the fucking manager," I yelled, "How dare you turn me down for a lap dance. You filthy fat slag." "This is my first day at work," she sobbed, "And you're ruining it for me dad." |
 
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I was in a lap dancing club at the weekend and was enjoying myself until this 15 stone fat chick came dancing on the table in front of me. "Strong legs that, hey?" I said to the bloke next to me. "Huh, she's fat," he replied. "No mate, I meant the table," I said. |
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Joke
by AngelsPredator in Illness and mortality - Obesity (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 157.8
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While walking through town late last night a young lady handed me a flyer for a lap dancing club.
"How dare you." I growled. "How dare you assume I would be the type of person to frequent such an establishment. Semi naked women gyrating in front of sad, lonely sleazy old men. I'm a happily married man I'll have you know." "Err, we do have a no touching policy." She stammered nervously. "Oh, I do apologise." I sa [...] |
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"You remind me of my wife," I said to my private lap dancer. "I'll take that as a compliment," she giggled, "is she pretty?" "No it's just I also give her shit loads of money and I don't get any sex." |
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I was at the massage parlour and the masseuse asked, "Any extras?" I said, "No, get your own chewing gum." |
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| If the best things in life are free, why does a lap dance cost me £50? |
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To earn a little extra money, my wife works in a lap dancing club on Friday and Saturday night. Those toilets don't clean themselves. |
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I had a lap dance last night and my balls are aching today. Just my luck to get a tap dancer. |
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The bouncers threw me out of a lap dancing club last night for breaking the "no touching" rule. You're not allowed to touch them up either. |
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Joke
by ClitCommander in Sex and shit - Lap Dance - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 26.8
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I had a lovely father/daughter dance last night. She never charges her old man for a lap dance. |
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Joke
by ClitCommander in Sex and shit - Lap Dance - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 18.4
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