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Jokes under Crime > Child Abuse

54407
Ultimate phone prank:

1. Call the ChildLine number and say 'I've just dialed 1471 and this number came up, who is this?'

2. Operator replies 'you're through to ChildLine.'

3. You shout 'TERRY YOU LITTLE CUNT, NOT AGAIN....COME HERE YOU LITTLE BASTARD''. Before hanging up the phone.
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Joke by Chucky in TV - Adverts (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 4,637.2


46048
I broke my G-string yesterday while fingering a minor.

To be fair, I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door. Never mind, I'll just have to buy new strings.
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Joke by MICK THE MAG in Crime - Child Abuse - Added: 4 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,555.8




69847
I've been teaching my daughter about masturbation today and she's been asking loads of questions...

Like, "When do I get to use my own hand?"
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Joke by Unassigned in Crime - Child Abuse (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,537.8


738599
Those kids at the NSPCC think they've had to suffer in silence?

I stubbed my toe in a library once.
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Joke by Mattfuckingpickles in Crime - Child Abuse - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,068.6


131685
Anyone who ends their joke with :-) is obviously too young to be on sickipedia, and deserves my cock in their :-o I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by discostu in Crime - Child Abuse - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 1,037.2


1065330
My mate said, "I like your car."
I said, "It's not very practical now we've got a baby."
He said, "How about I buy it off you."
I said, "Yeah go on then. Three grand?"
He said, "You've got yourself a deal."
I said, "Nice one... you're going to make a brilliant dad."
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Joke by FantasticMrFucks in Crime - Child Abuse - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 902.2


49203
As I was walking through my local park, I saw a bloke touching up a little girl with one hand and wanking with his other. I was furious.

I raced over and kicked the fuck out of him and told him to piss off.

As he ran off, I shouted after him, "this is my patch, get your own fucking girls!"
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Joke by justincider in Crime - Child Abuse - Added: 4 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 740


112759
What's the difference between Alton Towers and my penis?

There's no height restriction for a child to ride my penis.
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Joke by havinit.large in Crime - Child Abuse - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 681.4


89656
I phoned a child abuse line the other day.

The kid at the other end of the line told me to fuck off.
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Joke by kazzi_boi in Crime - Child Abuse - Added: 4 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 660


1184012
If you ask me, people who harm children should be strangled at birth. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by tom2345 in Crime - Child Abuse - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 659.6



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