Jokes under Other > Holidays
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Just got this text:- Mate, you're not going to believe this, I've just won a competition on Radio 1 for a holiday to Greece! Got £2000 spending money and I can take 5 mates. I know it's short notice but if you're free from 1st December to 15th December, can you put my bin out? CUNT! |
 
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A young lad knocked on the door last night and said "Trick or Treat?" I said "What have you come as?" He said "A werewolf." I said "But you haven't got a costume on, you're just in normal clothes" He said "Well it's not a full moon yet is it, dickhead?" Cunt |
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Joke
by pigchaser in Events - Halloween (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 1,308.4
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The girl at the RyanAir check-in desk said, "Window or aisle?" I replied, "Window or you'll what?" |
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Joke
submitted by drogba1, originally by Jimmy Carr in Other - Holidays - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 812
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I wanted to sue the airline because they damaged my luggage. I showed the badly damaged remains to my lawyer. He said, "You don't have much of a case." |
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I arrived in Benidorm and on a bus to my hotel when I saw a billboard saying, "All of our doctors speak fluent English." I thought, 'Don't even fucking get that at home!' |
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I was recently on Safari in the Serengeti and witnessed two huge male lions, taking it in turns to shag each other. I thought, "Fuck me, have they got no pride?" |
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I was arguing with the wife about holidays the other day. I want to go to Morocco, she wants to come with me. |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Sex and shit - Women (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 449.2
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My wife's going on a vacation to 'get a break from my constant jealousy'. I wish I was going on a vacation.. |
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My new colleagues really take April Fool's day seriously. Five hours I've been in the office now and they're still all hiding. |
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| No one ever mentions the 1000 miles of trouble free luxury cruising before the iceberg..... |
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Joke
submitted by Insomnibrat, originally by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor in Illness and mortality - Drowning (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 326.6
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