Jokes under Crime > Prison
| My mate has just been sent to prison for six months, he pulled three people out of a burning building. Unfortunately it turned out they were firefighters. |
 
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During one of our lessons I asked the children what their fathers did for a living. "My Dad runs the fire station. He's the station officer." Said Simon. "Very good Simon. Anyone else?" "My Dad runs the local prison," piped up Billy. "Excellent Billy. Is he the prison governor?" I asked. "No Sir, he's just the hardest cunt in there." |
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Great, another Sunday. I've been to the gym, had a nice hot shower and I've just picked up a bottle of home brew off a neighbour for this afternoon. I've got a few spliffs rolled up for the XBox tournament with the lads, after which I'll muck about online with some porn and gambling sites. I love prison, me. |
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| If I ever got sent to the electric chair, I would order a tub of butter for my last meal - and a shit load of popping corn. |
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Joke
submitted by Unassigned, originally by Montreal 2009 in Crime - Prison - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 703
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Some bloke walked up to the counter and said, "Burger and chips, please." "Certainly, Sir," I replied. "Are you eating in or taking out?" "Fuck off you cunt," he snapped, before walking off with his food. I love working in the prison canteen. |
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BBC News: Prison rioters 'must be punished' If only there was a place they could be sent to where they couldn't do this sort of thing. |
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Joke
by booty123 in In The News - Headlines (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 501.8
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My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do. He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife. |
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The wife and I are going away this Christmas. Five years for child abuse. |
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I've just done a 2 month spell in jail, and I can confirm that the rumours about the "soap" are 100% not true. They use shower gel now. Which actually acts as a handy lubricant during the rape. |
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Joke
by richy-90 in Sex and shit - Anal (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 424.6
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I was really scared on my first night in prison. There was a horror film on the 52 inch plasma TV in my cell. |
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