Jokes under Sex and shit > Fantasy
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My wife told me that her fantasy fuck would be Brad Pitt. Then she went mental because I told her mine. Apparently Vicky from next door is neither a celebrity nor thirteen yet. |
 
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I've always had an over-active imagination. Like that time I found myself drowning in an ocean of Tango - it took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea. |
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Joke
submitted by Unassigned, originally by Thornton and I in Sex and shit - Fantasy - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 518.4
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I get very excited and turned on by women in boots. Which is why I'm banned, and now I have to buy all my toiletries in Superdrug. |
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Joke
by justpassing in Other - Shopping (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 425.2
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My wife and I were talking about fantasies after a few drinks the other night "What's the dirtiest thing you'd like to do to me?" She asked I replied "tie you up and gag you, fuck your arse till it bled, cum all over your face, then shit on your tits and rub it into your skin...what would you like?" "A big black cock right in..." I walked out in disgust...filthy bitch |
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This woman came into my shop earlier on the phone, whispering about the amazing sex she had last night. She picked up a magazine and started flicking through it. I shouted over, "Hey, this isn't a library!" "I'm going to buy it," she replied. I said, "That's fine, I just mean you don't have to talk so quietly." |
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Joke
by ThePriceOfChipFat in Sex and shit - Fantasy (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 344.8
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My girlfriend said she wanted to experiment in the bedroom... So I got her a chemistry set and went to the pub |
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My 13-yr-old daughter was just going out of the door. "Stop right there," I said. "Where do you think you're going dressed like that?" "Like what?" she asked. "What about the see-through top and lacy bra," I said, "and the mini skirt with the stockings?" "For fuck's sake. I'm not wearing them dad. I just want to go out in my jeans and T-shirt." |
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Joke
by emptyhead in Sex and shit - Pervert (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago - Current Score: 242.6
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Best chat up line ever: We can do this one of two ways; Rohypnol or necrophilia....Your decision. |
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My wife asked me if I had any fantasies.. I said, "I've got this one where we pretend that we're complete strangers and have never met..." She said, "What, and you pick me up in some bar?" I said, "No... Just the first bit." |
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My girlfriend asked me to indulge her in something a bit kinky last night. She said she had this rape fantasy that she'd always wanted to try out. Really regretting it now though. My arsehole hurts like fuck, and she says she'll kill my pet rabbit if I tell my parents. |
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