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Jokes under Illness and mortality > Snoring

272937
Ro-Ro-Rohypnol,
Till she starts to snore,
Quietly get your tackle out,
And use her like a whore. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Unassigned in Sex and shit - Rohypnol (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 436.2


1277642
Because of my constant snoring my wife sometimes gets up and goes to sleep in our son's bed.

Which is a bit strange seeing that he's 28 and lives 4 miles away. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by famous amos in Illness and mortality - Snoring - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 182




44810
The wife was complaining that she couldn't sleep with my snoring.

So I went to the Pharmacist and bought this new snoring mask, its great!

You can wrap it on your wife's face and you can't hear her fucking complain. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by jokeywokey in Illness and mortality - Snoring - Added: 4 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 36


302990
Snoring - allowing you to have a sneaky ciggie out your window, safe in the knowledge your Dad's asleep, since the dawn of time. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Willd321 in Illness and mortality - Snoring - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 29.4


212170
My missus woke me up with her snoring yesterday.
"For fuck's sake!" I said, grabbing the wheel, "Are you trying to kill us?!" 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by drof in Illness and mortality - Snoring (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 16


1393119
"God love I slept like a log."I said to the wife this morning.

"Well I was awake listening to your snoring." she said.

That's some fucking weird fetish,I thought. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by irbaboon in Illness and mortality - Snoring (+ 1 more) - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 13.2


264468
My wife shook me awake at 2am today, and told me that my snoring had kept her awake all night.

So I beat her unconscious, then went back to sleep.

Worked out well for everyone concerned. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by 8 ace in Crime - Domestic Violence (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 12


387616
I said to my doctor, "Doctor, as soon as I fall asleep I start snoring."
He asked, "Is it loud?" I replied, "Very."
He said, "Does it bother your wife?" I replied, "I'm not married."
"Then what's the problem?" he asked.
"I've lost jobs because of it." I replied. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Embassy in Other - Work (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 11.2


1220102
A women was having a medical problem-her husband was snoring very loudly and every night ! So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to her 'suffering'.
"Well there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband" said the doctor "but it is very expensive". "It will cost you 10,000 down and payments of 1,000 for thirty six months, plus payments for extras, of course".
"My Goodness!" The [...]

 I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Wbreid7 in Illness and mortality - Snoring - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 8.6


1173724
I have discovered a way to stop my wife snoring.
Oh shit... and breathing 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by GeordieGerry in Illness and mortality - Snoring - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 6.8



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