Jokes under In The News > Space
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SKY News: David Richards,40, from Caerwys snaps photo of UFO in back garden! Well sir if you say it's a UFO then you have identified it making it an FO, if it's landed in your back garden it's not flying thus making it an O. So David, you have succesfully managed to take a photo of an object in your back garden. Well done... dickhead. |
 
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Joke
submitted by dannym954, originally by Jimmy Carr in In The News - Space - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 1,772.8
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Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year. If you do the maths, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth's surface. This would explain the death of the dinosaurs. The tallest ones, anyway. |
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Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. The sound is proving difficult to decipher, but they have narrowed it down to either "Oops" or "Ohh shit" |
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My wife told me that she wants a divorce because I don't take life seriously enough. So I got on my space hopper and got the fuck out of there. |
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| If space is a vacuum, shouldn't all astronauts be women? |
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NASA claim Armstrong's first Lunar words were: "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" This is in fact not the case, but it was decided it was best for all concerned to dub something more intelligent over Armstrong's, "I'm telling you Buzz, there's no fucking way a cow jumped over here." |
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Joke
submitted by fmead99, originally by Jeff Foxxworthy in In The News - Space - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 200.8
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It's been two days since Curiosity landed on Mars. Cats of the world have rejoiced and can sleep with both eyes closed, safe in the knowledge that the notorious serial killer can't touch them for a while. |
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What do NASA, Tylenol and a Sea lion have in common? They're all looking for a tight seal. |
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Joke
by thedevilmademedoit in In The News - Space - Added: 5 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 186
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In light of the large hadron collider being used for the first time today, Stephen Hawking posed a question for the general public. He asked, "how do you fill a black hole?" on daytime television and asked for people to phone in with their answer. I can honestly say he didn't expect a guy to phone in with the answer, "with a black cock!" |
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| I was really excited about the Large Hadron Collider and thought it was going to be great. But, when I saw Stephen Hawking being interviewed about it on TV this morning, he didn't seem very animated about it at all. |
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