Jokes under Crime > Knife Crime
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Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard. |
 
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I've always stood up for black people. It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat. |
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Police have charged a man for the murder of two French students in South London. Making a statement outside Scotland Yard this evening, Superintendent Brannigan said, "Since the furore over the shooting of that Brazilian Jean Charles de Menezes in 2005 we can no longer provide this service for free." |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Crime - Knife Crime (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 951.4
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I just heard on the news that gangs are now using dogs instead of knives. I tried this and my toast was very hairy. |
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Joke
submitted by Unassigned, originally by Gary Delaney in Crime - Knife Crime - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 887
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A hoodie goes to an East End library to get out a book. The assistant says, "in order to borrow a book, you need to prove you're a citizen of London." So he stabs him. |
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Joke
submitted by littledave, originally by Emo Philips in Racism - Londoner (+ 2 more) - Added: 5 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 696
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I had to have one of those work experience kids in my restaurant yesterday. While I was expecting some saucy little schoolgirl, they sent this little fucking black prick from east London who kept calling me 'bruv' and 'blood'. "Can you use a knife?" I asked. After taking a long, hard look in his lifeless, seedy little eyes I thought, "What a stupid fucking question." |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Racism - Black (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 661.2
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Tenerife; I won't beheading there in a hurry. |
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Have you seen the new 'K' necklace that Brook Kinsella has brought out to help stop knife crime? I bought 3, wore them all and got stabbed by the first black guy that saw me. |
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Tenerife is releasing its own range of shampoo. Shoulders. |
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So, someone got stabbed in Birmingham, and all SIX suspects are from the same address. Six men, all living in the same house. In Birmingham. Anyone fancy a wager on their ethnicity? |
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Joke
by pukeporn in Racism - Pakistani (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 453.4
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