Jokes under Illness and mortality > Smoking
|
My doctor told me that "1 out of 3 people who start smoking will eventually die." The other two apparently become immortal. |
 
   |
Joke
by MRMIdAS in Illness and mortality - Smoking - Added: 4 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,191.2
|
For my New Year's Resolution, I have decided to only smoke after sex. If 2009 is anything to go by, I've quit. |
|
Joke
by viper2121 in Illness and mortality - Smoking (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 785.2
| Isn't it funny how smokers' lungs stop working after they turn black? |
|
| A survey has shown that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. |
|
Joke
submitted by Staffer, originally by Fletcher Knebel in Illness and mortality - Smoking - Added: 4 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 726.2
|
Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes Lady: How many packs a day? Man: 3 packs Lady: How much per pack Man: £10.00 Lady: And how long have you been smoking? Man: 15 years Lady: So 1 pack cost £10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at £900. In one year, it would be £10,800 correct? Man: Correct Lady: If in 1 year you spend £10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 [...] |
|
|
I was in B&Q the other day and had a rolled up cigarette behind my ear. The bloke behind the counter said, "Sorry sir, you can't smoke that in here." I looked blankly at him for 10 seconds then replied. "I have a hole in my arse, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna shit on the conveyor belt does it?" |
|
Joke
by pumpdaddy in Illness and mortality - Smoking - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 481.2
|
viper2121 wrote: For my New Year's Resolution, I have decided to only smoke after sex. =============== I couldn't bring myself to do that, second hand smoke is really bad for young kids. |
|
Joke
by oldmantannam in Sex and shit - Paedophile (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 480.6
|
Cigarettes are just like weasels. Both are completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and try to set fire to them... |
|
Joke
by THE TRUTH in Illness and mortality - Smoking (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 466
|
I've just read a report that cardboard packaging made from recycled newsprint can cause cancer. I'm really worried now as for many years I've been buying my cigarettes packaged in this stuff. |
|
Joke
by Boogaloo in Illness and mortality - Smoking (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 441.4
|
I caught my son with a packet of cigarettes yesterday. To punish him I tied him up in the garden, doused him in petrol and set him on fire. I thought it would be enough to teach him a lesson, but I just looked outside and he's still smoking. |
|
Joke
by sacredcow in Illness and mortality - Smoking - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 415.8
Page load time: 0.12s (Startup: 0.03s, Controller: 0.07s, Template: 0.02s)
Sickipedia v3.5, served by WEBFE
el gato no es bueno
Sickipedia © 2007 - 2013
