Jokes under Religion > Church
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The day after Christmas, I had a guy knock on my door, trying to preach to me about Jesus, saying how I should repent for my sins.
My 10-year-old son was still excited and ran to the door shouting "Santa Claus came to my house!" The man looked at me and said "Isn't he a bit old to believe that there's an invisible man in the sky, watching everything you do, judging whether you're good or bad?" I looked at him and asked "Sorry, whic [...] |
 
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I was in church the other day and in the middle of a prayer the lady next to me lit up a fag! I was so shocked I nearly dropped my beer. |
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An amateur group of Islamic film makers have posted a video on YouTube which mocks Christianity and Jesus Christ. It is believed to be so offensive that St Peter's church in Shrewsbury have postponed their tea and cake morning until next Wednesday, and Dorothy Green from Margate has written in to Points of view. When will the madness end? |
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Joke
by rider_of_rohan in Religion - Christianity (+ 2 more) - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 818
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Thick walls. Plenty of space. Naked kids. No consequences. Carlsberg don't to homosexual paedophile rapist colonies with an unlimited supply of virgin boys. But The Church does. |
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An old man walks into the local Cathedral and says to the rector, "I would like to join this fucking church."
The astonished man replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen, damn it. I said I want to join this fucking church!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church." The rector leaves his desk and goes into the bishop's study to inform him of [...] |
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| I think a church with a lightning rod shows a decided lack of confidence. |
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Joke
submitted by MRMIdAS, originally by 'Bill Hicks'. in Religion - Church - Added: 4 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 398
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The local paedophile got all his windows smashed last night. There was stained glass everywhere. |
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The email picture said, "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten" How ironic! Every time I kill a kitten, I masturbate! |
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Joke
by Cyberpope67 in Religion - Church (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 300.8
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JESUS SAVES! Darwin scores on the rebound. |
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I couldnt believe how much the speech I gave at the weekend at my best mates do bombed. I mean, I used all my top juicy stories, like the strippers in amsterdam, the time we got drunk on his mums sherry and wanked over avon catalogues and the best of the bunch, the time I caught him shagging my sister when she was underage. I personally thought it was the highlight of the funeral. |
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