Jokes under Sex and shit > Fingering
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Boy: "Do you want to play the fire engine game?" Girl: "How do you play that?" Boy: "My fingers are the fire engine and I drive up your legs. You say 'Red light!' when you want me to stop." Girl: "Okay, let's play." After a few seconds... Girl: "Red light!" Boy: "Fire engines don't stop for red lights." |
 
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So I've got a new girlfriend. She invited me round to her place for dinner the other night. We were in the kitchen, just about to start making dinner when she asked me to turn on the veg. Apparently, fingering her paraplegic daughter was not the right move.... |
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Joke
by PizzaofDeath in Illness and mortality - Disability (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 787.6
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My mum just made me clean out the hairs out of the bathroom plug. My God, it felt like I was fingering Susan Boyle. |
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Joke
by heheh in Sex and shit - Fingering (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 669.4
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What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook. |
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When I was fourteen, I'd been out on the park with my friends. I had been getting friendly with a girl in the group and on that particular night I'd got my fingers in her snatch and she stroked my dick.
I walked home afterwards feeling ten feet tall. On entering my house my Mother said to me "where have you been?" "On the park." I replied. "Have you been smoking?" asked my mum. "No" I answered indignantly. [...] |
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I was out with a Liverpool lass the other night. I was just getting down to some serious heavy-petting when she whispered, "That's nice, but your ring's scratching inside me.." I said, "It's not my ring, it's my watch!" |
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Joke
by VAGINADINER in Sex and shit - Fingering - Added: 5 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 416.8
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I was having an argument with my Mum earlier about how I go out drinking too much. At one point in the argument she told me "Your attitude stinks" I replied simply "If you think my attitude stinks, you should smell my fingers" |
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My best mates girlfriend is 6 months pregnant. She asked me if I wanted to feel the baby. On reflection, I think she meant on the outside. |
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Joke
submitted by Steel994, originally by Jimmy Carr in Sex and shit - Baby (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 354.8
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My girlfriend is so dirty. This afternoon she text me saying 'Hey babe, I'm fingering atm :P xxx.' Filthy bitch, who fingers cash machines? |
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Boy comes home late from school one day and his dad asks, "Where have you been?" "With Jessica." "Doing what?" "Revising." The boy then picks up a snack and says, "These fishcakes are nice." His dad says, "Go and wash your hands son, they're fucking doughnuts!" |
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Joke
by Higherthanlatency in Sex and shit - Fingering - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 287.2
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