Jokes under Sex and shit > Adultery
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A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" de [...] |
 
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I came home from work early one night to find my wife and my best mate, sweaty and breathless in the living room. I said, "What's going on?" My wife said, "Erm... We've been playing on the Wii Fit." She winked at my mate and said, "Dave did VERY well." As I walked out of the room, I heard them giggling and calling me a "dickhead", but I had the last laugh. I checked the next day, and none of his scores had even registered! |
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Joke
by Biscuit777 in Sex and shit - Adultery - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 2,121.2
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I got out of the shower and my wife said, "Ooo look, it's like a penis... only smaller." I said, "Ooo look, it's like my secretary... only fatter and less flexible." |
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I'm always frank with my sexual partners. Don't want them knowing my real name, do I? |
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Joke
by justincider in Sex and shit - Adultery (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 1,529.4
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Secrets to a Happy Marriage 1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans. 2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money. 3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex. and MOST important... 4. It is important that these three women never meet. |
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My wife has worked as a magician's assistant for years now. I think she has picked up a few tricks. I came home from work early today and she was in the bedroom. She said, "Abracadabra!" and my mate, Dave, came out of the wardrobe, stark naked. Poor bastard must have wondered what the fuck was going on. |
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| How the fuck am I meant to stay with the same girl for the rest of my life when I can't even wank over the same porn twice? |
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Joke
by mynameis in Sex and shit - Adultery - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 1,121.6
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I've been sleeping with this bloke's wife and today he sent me this text: "You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!" To which I replied: "8 out of 10, I'll requires an apostrophe and a capital I." |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,090
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My wife gave birth to our beautiful baby son last week and I feel like the proudest father alive. I've just got one question though: At what age do they stop being black? |
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Joke
by Gunk Rhyme in Sex and shit - Baby (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,004.6
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For fuck's sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up. The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her. |
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Joke
by kamsy123 in Sex and shit - Adultery (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 939.4
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