Jokes under Sex and shit > Adultery
I got out of the shower and my wife said, "Ooo look, it's like a penis... only smaller."
I said, "Ooo look, it's like my secretary... only fatter and less flexible."
|How the fuck am I meant to stay with the same girl for the rest of my life when I can't even wank over the same porn twice?|
I've been sleeping with this bloke's wife and today he sent me this text:
"You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!"
To which I replied:
"8 out of 10, I'll requires an apostrophe and a capital I."
My wife gave birth to our beautiful baby son last week and I feel like the proudest father alive.
I've just got one question though:
At what age do they stop being black?
For fuck's sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up.
The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her.
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