Jokes under Sex and shit > Positions
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My favourite sexual position is the Kanye West. We both get on a stage in front of loads of people while I humiliate her and scream how Beyonce is a better fuck. |
 
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Joke
by Dark-Strider in Sex and shit - Positions (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 978.2
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One time, my girlfriend and I did it doggy style for half an hour! ...or four minutes human time |
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| I've invented a new sex position. The Tolkien. She bends over and I take over 9 hours to destroy her ring. |
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Joke
by Sarcasticturd in Sex and shit - Positions (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 605.4
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Me and my girlfriend have been together a long time, and our favourite sexual position is the Scottish World Cup Squad.
Neither of us know what we're doing or why we're there, there's no passion, no communication and we never even make it past the first stage. It's often accompanied by a very bad soundtrack, horrible dribbling and never ever a clean sheet. It's always over far too quickly and when it does end I know it will be at least another 12 years before it happens again. [...] |
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Joke
by Curry_Man123 in Sports - Football (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 585.6
| Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style. |
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| If you've ever been fucking a girl doggy style in front of a mirror, you've almost certainly given yourself the thumbs up when she's not looking. |
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Joke
by The Brutal Truth in Sex and shit - Positions - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 406.6
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My favourite sex position is The Ninja. A dildo and a light switch are needed close by. With the lights off proceed to have doggystyle sex with a woman and with a swift David Copperfield-esque motion, pull-out and stick the dildo in her so she thinks you are still in her. Then walk around to her front, switch on the lights, punch her in the face and yell, NINJA!! |
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Joke
by WickerMan in Sex and shit - ??? General (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 350
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My mate asked me the other day "If you had to shag your mum to save your dad what would you do?" Apparently Reverse-Cowboy was the wrong answer. |
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Joke
by fishmeister in Sex and shit - Positions - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 339.8
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Yesterday a woman sat on my glasses and broke them. Luckily, they were on my face at the time. |
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Joke
by MICK THE MAG in Sex and shit - Positions - Added: 4 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 316.8
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I invented a new sexual position with my wife last night, where I do her from behind whilst she's up against a fence until she's absolutely gasping and can't take any more. We call it, "The Hillsborough". |
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Joke
by ClitCommander in Sex and shit - Positions - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 299.4
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