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Jokes under Events > Christmas

260603
Marks And Spencers new advert states that it wouldn't be Christmas without M&S.

They're right too. It'd be Chrita.
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Joke by RossGreen88 in Events - Christmas - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,941.2


9599
Why is Santa Claus always smiling?

Because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Joke by exce in Events - Christmas - Added: 5 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,861.6




12520
Imagine my joy when I was getting out the Christmas decorations and found a present I forgot to give my kids last year. Their excited faces were a picture as they unwrapped it and opened the box.

Such a pity it was a puppy.
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Joke by bobbydgg in Illness and mortality - Death (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,666


687402
When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come.
Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
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Joke submitted by jcvamp, originally by Simon Bird (The King is Dead) in Events - Christmas - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 1,652


296685
Great news guys!

After its annual day-off, the DFS sale starts again tomorrow.
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Joke by ray piste in Events - Christmas - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,253.6


1572
Did you hear about the Jewish paedophile Santa Claus?

He comes down the chimney and says, "Hi kids! Do you want to buy some presents?"
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Joke by immortalshadow666 in Racism - Jew (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 1,167


295090
Just a quick post, to wish all you fellow Sickipedians a merry politically-correct non-denominational 'Winterfest'-type holiday, and a happy new Gregorian calendar reset.

P.S. Pakis out.
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Joke by 8 ace in Racism - Pakistani (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,163.4


1145348
I love this time of year. You can slam your laptop shut when your girlfriend walks into the room and you don't get any disgusted looks. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by kingdonkey in Events - Christmas (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,063.6


259854
I went to the garden centre today and bought a Christmas Tree. The assistant asked me, "Will you be putting that up yourself?"

I replied, "No, you sick fuck. I'll be putting it up in my living room."
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Joke submitted by srbsma, originally by Stewart Francis in Other - Shopping (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,052.4


794292
I got one of those Dyson Ball Cleaners for Christmas.
Unfortunately, I misunderstood what it was, which is why I'm now in casualty...
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Joke submitted by analmonkey, originally by Phil Pagett in Events - Christmas (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,022



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