Jokes under Events > Christmas
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Marks And Spencers new advert states that it wouldn't be Christmas without M&S. They're right too. It'd be Chrita. |
 
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Why is Santa Claus always smiling? Because he knows where all the bad girls live. |
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Imagine my joy when I was getting out the Christmas decorations and found a present I forgot to give my kids last year. Their excited faces were a picture as they unwrapped it and opened the box. Such a pity it was a puppy. |
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Joke
by bobbydgg in Illness and mortality - Death (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,666
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When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left. |
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Joke
submitted by jcvamp, originally by Simon Bird (The King is Dead) in Events - Christmas - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 1,652
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Great news guys! After its annual day-off, the DFS sale starts again tomorrow. |
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Did you hear about the Jewish paedophile Santa Claus? He comes down the chimney and says, "Hi kids! Do you want to buy some presents?" |
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Joke
by immortalshadow666 in Racism - Jew (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 1,167
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Just a quick post, to wish all you fellow Sickipedians a merry politically-correct non-denominational 'Winterfest'-type holiday, and a happy new Gregorian calendar reset. P.S. Pakis out. |
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Joke
by 8 ace in Racism - Pakistani (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,163.4
| I love this time of year. You can slam your laptop shut when your girlfriend walks into the room and you don't get any disgusted looks. |
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Joke
by kingdonkey in Events - Christmas (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,063.6
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I went to the garden centre today and bought a Christmas Tree. The assistant asked me, "Will you be putting that up yourself?" I replied, "No, you sick fuck. I'll be putting it up in my living room." |
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Joke
submitted by srbsma, originally by Stewart Francis in Other - Shopping (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,052.4
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I got one of those Dyson Ball Cleaners for Christmas. Unfortunately, I misunderstood what it was, which is why I'm now in casualty... |
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Joke
submitted by analmonkey, originally by Phil Pagett in Events - Christmas (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,022
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