Jokes under Sex and shit > Drunken
| I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead. |
 
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Joke
submitted by johnboy, originally by Laura Kightlinger in Sex and shit - Drunken - Added: 5 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 3,649.8
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Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates where St.Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph." Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken." Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a [...] |
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Joke
by redrobinson in Sex and shit - Drunken - Added: 5 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,106.8
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After shagging a fat chick whilst I was drunk the next morning I said to her, "Here, if you want to see me again, call this number." "Awww, men don't usually give me their numbers," she responded. I said, "It's not mine. It's Weight Watchers." |
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I came home drunk last night, crept up the stairs, slowly got into bed and then started to rub my wife's cock. That's when I thought, 'I don't even live at number 15.' |
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My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album. |
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Joke
by oneofthelads in Sex and shit - Drunken (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 732
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A police officer is parked outside a bar one night when he sees a drunk man stumble out the door. The man staggers through the parking lot and falls down. He tries his keys in five different cars before getting in and driving off. The cop immediately pulls him over and makes the man take a breathalyser test. The man blows a 0.0. "This thing must be broken," the cop says. The man responds, "Nope, tonight I'm the designated decoy!" |
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| After years of research I've found that the best thing to mix vodka with is underage girls. |
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I tried some of that new 4% Stella last night. It was ok, i was quite happy with it. Not as happy as the wife was though, she only had one black eye this morning whereas she would normally have two. |
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Joke
by flowery twats in Sex and shit - Drunken (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 527.8
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I was way too drunk last night to drive home. So I drove to another party. |
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Joke
submitted by justnoton, originally by @PaulyPeligroso in Sex and shit - Drunken - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 423.8
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Isn't it amazing that how when you are extremely pissed, the only thing you can remember is the pin for your bank card? |
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