Jokes under Sex and shit > Honeymoon

A newly married couple go to Tunisia for their honeymoon. One day, as they're wandering through a market the couple find themselves invited into a shop selling slippers. They have a look at the wares but can't see anything they like. Just as they're about to leave, Abdul the shopkeeper takes down a pair of slippers from the top shelf.

"Please sir," he says, "before you go you must try on these special slippers. They have the magical power to increase your sex drive. [...]

A newly married couple go to Tunisia for their honeymoon. One day, as they're wandering through a market the couple find themselves invited into a shop selling slippers. They have a look at the wares but can't see anything they like. Just as they're about to leave, Abdul the shopkeeper takes down a pair of slippers from the top shelf.

"Please sir," he says, "before you go you must try on these special slippers. They have the magical power to increase your sex drive. If you put these on you will be insatiable. You will never tire of the sexual act."

The couple are dubious, but to humour Abdul the man takes off his shoes and tries on the slippers. Immediately the man's eyes bulge out of their sockets! He gives a great roar, rips off his shorts, bends Abdul over a chair and starts tearing off his robes.

"No, no!" shouts Abdul. "Wrong feet, wrong feet!!"

A nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table."
Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with a hint of a smile.
"Yes," replied the girl, "much better."
"Very well, my d [...]

A nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table."
Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with a hint of a smile.
"Yes," replied the girl, "much better."
"Very well, my darling," the husband whispered. "Now would you be so kind as to please pass the cunt?”

A honeymoon couple fly to America and stay in the Watergate Hotel, Washington. The bride is concerned: "What if the place is still bugged?"
The groom says, "I'll look for a bug". He looks behind the curtains, behind the pictures, under the rug - "AHA!"
Under the rug was a disc with four screws. He gets his swiss army knife, unscrews the screws and throws them and the disc out the window.
The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds, [...]

A honeymoon couple fly to America and stay in the Watergate Hotel, Washington. The bride is concerned: "What if the place is still bugged?"
The groom says, "I'll look for a bug". He looks behind the curtains, behind the pictures, under the rug - "AHA!"
Under the rug was a disc with four screws. He gets his swiss army knife, unscrews the screws and throws them and the disc out the window.
The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds, "how was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?"
The groom asks, "why are you asking me all of these questions?"
The hotel manager says, "well, the room under you complained of the chandelier falling on them..."

These two guys have a joint wedding. And they go to the same place for their honeymoons.
One says to the other "I'll tell you what, we shall see who shags their wife the most. Each time you shag her, make a mark on the board, and in the morning the loser buys the winner breakfast"
The other agrees, and they both take their wifes to bed early so the can get started.
The first guys get into bed and shags his wife, then writes a mark onto the head board. Half way thro [...]

These two guys have a joint wedding. And they go to the same place for their honeymoons.
One says to the other "I'll tell you what, we shall see who shags their wife the most. Each time you shag her, make a mark on the board, and in the morning the loser buys the winner breakfast"
The other agrees, and they both take their wifes to bed early so the can get started.
The first guys get into bed and shags his wife, then writes a mark onto the head board. Half way through the night, he wakes up, wakes his wife up, and shags her again, and make s second mark on the headboard, next to the first. in the morning, he wakes up, shags her again, and makes third mark next to the other two on the head board.
There is a knock on the door, and his mate walks in, on his knees. His over used dick glowing under his trousers. He looks at the head board and wails
"You bastard, one hundred and eleven, you beat me by one!"