Jokes under Sports > Swimming
| Today, a man knocked my front door. He said he was collecting for the local swimming pool... so I gave him two buckets of water. |
 
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Joke
by garrygwizz in Sports - Swimming (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 484.6
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School swimming lessons are a lot like playing snooker. There's a lot of fucking about to start with, but ultimately you just want to sink the black. |
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Joke
by sacredcow in Other - Wordplay (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 191
| 'The Thorpedo'...a fantastic nickname for Aussie Gold Medal legend Ian Thorpe, when he swam like a torpedo. Not such a good name now he's teaching kids to swim. |
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I've never been a fan of swimming because of the hygiene issues in public pools. It's just the thought of something brown and smelly floating towards me that really puts me off. Or Paki bastards, as I also like to call them. |
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Joke
by underscore in Racism - Pakistani (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 142.8
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I was thrown out of my local swimming pool for pissing in it. "How did you know I was pissing?" I asked the lifeguard. "The shallow end only goes up to your knees." |
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| Sorry Michael Phelps but I think you'll find that Zeus is the greatest Olympian of all time |
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They say swimming gives you an appetite. Which would explain why the floats are always half-eaten. |
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I was at the swimming baths today, when the lifeguard shouted, "You can't dive mate." "Sorry" I said, "I didn't realise that it wasn't allowed." He said, "It is allowed, I'm just saying that you're very shit at it." |
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| So.... Team GB have 2 medals so far just missing out on a Gold by a nose. Ironically that's how we won the Bronze |
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The Chinese have some of the fastest swimmers in the world? Now wait just a cockle picking minute here...... |
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