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Jokes under Illness and mortality > Therapy

9186
You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems" Linda told her friend.

That's amazing!" Mary replied, "So have Tom and I. We're thinking of going to a sex therapist" said Linda.

"Oh, we could never do that! We'd be too embarrassed!" responded Mary. "But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?"

Several weeks passed and they met for lunch again. "So, how did the sex therapy work out, Li [...]

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Joke by the phantom phucker in Illness and mortality - Therapy - Added: 5 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 115.2


66069
My friend has been seeing a shrink. For years he’s had an irrational fear of rope, swaying, Astroturf and heights; it turns out to be from a childhood memory of falling off a swing.

This made me think: I wonder where I got my fear of sweets, clowns and fisting.
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Joke by Haynz in Illness and mortality - Therapy - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 27.2




1268516
I had a session with my therapist last night.

We both left the pub completely shit-faced.
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Joke by emptyhead in Illness and mortality - Alcohol And Drugs (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 23.6


1442527
"I think that one of your problems is that you actually have too much confidence."

Said the sexy therapist, who I'd be having sex with later.
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Joke by Milo in Illness and mortality - Therapy - Added: 3 months, 19 days ago - Current Score: 14.4


1473681
My wife told me to stop speaking in numbers. I said I didn't one two. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Nietsneknarf in Other - Wordplay (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 weeks ago - Current Score: 13.4


1382503
I went to visit a rape therapist today. Halfway through recounting my rape in graphic detail, the therapist looked visibly shocked and had to tell me to stop.

Imagine how silly I felt when he told me he was only there for rape victims.
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Joke by Unassigned in Illness and mortality - Therapy - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 6.2


1472660
I always have an uncontrollable urge to punch my daughter in the face, so I thought maybe therapy could help.

She's tried it though, and she's still just as fucking irritating.
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Joke by graeme130287 in Illness and mortality - Therapy - Added: 3 weeks ago - Current Score: 5.8


1321181
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that..
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Joke submitted by guicey47, originally by Stewart Francis in Illness and mortality - Therapy - Added: 11 months ago - Current Score: 4.6


347752
My next door neighbour's a sex therapist. She bangs on the wall when nothing's happening. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by smegmah in Illness and mortality - Therapy - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 3.2


1257128
That fat fucker Russell Grant tried to tell my fortune. Didn't believe a word he said............
There's no way he's a medium.
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Joke by djando77 in Illness and mortality - Therapy (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 3.2



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