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Jokes under Crime > Neglect

1453467
I hadn't heard from my son for a couple of days, so I decided to go and see how he was.

Turns out he just needed a new battery for his baby monitor.
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Joke by poltroon in Crime - Neglect - Added: 2 months, 21 days ago - Current Score: 124.2


1374379
I took the kids to the circus last night.

It shouldn't take long for them to settle in.
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Joke by TheRizzler in Other - Circus (+ 1 more) - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 24.6




1408841
I'll be dropping off a few surprises at the orphanage this Christmas.

The kids.
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Joke by irbaboon in Crime - Neglect - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 13.4


1398543
The police have charged me with negligence after my 3yr old plummeted from our tenth floor balcony.

Who's to say it wasn't suicide!?
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Joke by funboy3 in Crime - Neglect - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 9


1423157
"Don't you just hate it when you sniff loads of cocaine and then forget where you leave things?"

"No!" my wife said with a look of disgust, "Now where the fuck are our children?"
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Joke by jack the gripper in Crime - Drugs (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 months, 30 days ago - Current Score: 8.4


1401271
I hate it when I go into a room and then forget why I went there in the first place.

Then I remember 10 minutes later that I'm a fireman and everyone in that room just burnt to death.
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Joke by Toe Cleavage in Crime - Neglect - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 7.2


353956
For Years I Thought I Was Born On February 30th
But It Was Just My Parents Getting Out Of Buying Me Presents
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Joke by prokiller171 in Crime - Neglect - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 4.4


1395190
I've just found my girlfriend dead under our sunbed.

I think I'll just leave her there for a few days to save on cremation fees.
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Joke by TheRizzler in Crime - Neglect - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 4


1449136
I'm a smackhead and have been branded an 'unfit mother' to my 3 young children.
So when the social took my kids away from me I was absolutely gutted. I felt such a deep sense of loss and I still don't know how I'm going to cope...

I was earning 150 quid a week in Child Tax Credits for keeping those children and now I'm skint as fuck!
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Joke by AtomicClitGun in Crime - Neglect - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 2


1444650
I lost one of my kids during a stroll round the park,

In hindsight, safari parks aren't safe for walking round.
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Joke by lostdog in Other - Stupid (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 0.6



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