Jokes under Illness and mortality > Spastic
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If I had a penny for every time someone called me a retard... My shit would probably be full of half digested pennies. |
 
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Katie Price has hit out at claims that her son Harvey was born disabled because she took drugs while pregnant. 'Harvey's problems are genetic,' she retorted. They are indeed. That's what happens when you breed an idiot with another idiot. |
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Joke
by 8 ace in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 months, 25 days ago - Current Score: 148.4
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I took my severely disabled son to see Father Christmas today. As soon as we walked into the room he started screaming uncontrollably. "Calm down," I said, "He won't hurt you." "Are you sure?" asked the guy in the costume. |
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Whilst playing golf the other day I hit the ball and it smacked my retard son on the forehead, taking him down instantly. At this point my wife ran in, yelling at me. "What the hell, Yuri? I know you hate him, but can't you be more careful with that thing?" I shouted back, "Hey, I have no control over the golf ball. It's the way this sport is, woman!" Annoyed, she grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of his bedroom. |
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Joke
by Snikoggs in Other - Children (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 128.2
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I took my retarded cousin to the job centre today. I told the woman at the desk, "This guy is half blind, has limited use of his arms and makes wild, spastic movements." "Perfect", she replied. "We have a factory vacancy for someone to put toppings on frozen pizzas." |
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I went on a date last night. "So what do you do for a living?" I asked. "I work with handicapped children." she smiled. "Really?" I said, "My neighbour's kid Howard is a proper little spasticated mong." "You can't call a child that," she replied, "It's awful." "I know, what the fuck were his parents thinking?" |
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I took my mum for a day out at a spa where she saw incense sticks for the first time. There was quite a scene the next day when she went to the shops looking to buy 'spa sticks that she can burn at home'. |
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Nothing beats Special K in the morning. Except my Dad. He never really came to terms with the fact that my brother, Kelvin, is a retard. |
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Easter Sunday, and our daughter is watching Alvin and the Chipmunks singing Katy Perry songs on the TV with a big beaming smile on her face. Call it pride, but moments like this really make me wish we'd aborted her 35 years ago when we found out we were having a mong kid. |
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Joke
by Cabron Monoxide in Illness and mortality - Down's Syndrome (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 14.4
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A spastic guy just slipped in a letter through my door and drove away. It left me confused. Can't remember signing up for special delivery. |
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Joke
by Snikoggs in Illness and mortality - Spastic - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 11.6
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