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Jokes under Sex and shit > Ejaculation

13745
"I'm going to the doctor," says Mary.

"Why, what's wrong?" asks her best friend Sara.

"I want to ask him how many calories there really are in sperm."

Sara says, "Why worry? If you're swallowing that much, no man is going to care if you're a bit chubby."
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by zip in Sex and shit - Ejaculation - Added: 5 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,693.8


1162407
Why did the semen cross the road?

Because it was my first wank in two weeks.
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Joke by ChingChang in Sex and shit - Ejaculation - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,417.2




174426
E mail from girl at work to whole company:

I have lost my silver bangle. If anybody comes across it anywhere, it’s mine.

E mail back from me:

I came across a silver bangle in the gent’s toilet. I didn’t mean to but my afternoon wank always produces a hefty wad that’s sometimes hard to control. It’s yours.

I hit reply all by mistake and have an appointment with HR in an hour.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by illegalnature in Sex and shit - Ejaculation - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,051.2


198281
Does anyone else get filthy looks when responding to the question "Where do you come from?" with "My penis"? I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by shagger in Sex and shit - Ejaculation - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 855.6


970785
Me and five of my mates all went to a brothel and all threw fifty pound each into a pot, the winner was whoever could go the longest without cumming.

I came in a respectable second, which put me in last place.
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Joke by bumblesquash in Sex and shit - Ejaculation - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 854.2


1311877
I ejaculated six feet earlier.

Strange, I usually ejaculate semen.
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Joke by tdfboy in Sex and shit - Ejaculation (+ 1 more) - Added: 11 months ago - Current Score: 804.8


170517
A girl at work was disgusted when she saw a cum stain on my work trousers.

I apologised and explained I had eaten spaghetti carbonara on my lunch break.

For some reason, pasta really turns me on.
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Joke by furiousg in Sex and shit - Ejaculation - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 790.8


215668
HELP!!! I've just spunked all over my mother's chest by accident whilst she was asleep. If she finds out, she's going to go fucking crazy. Anybody know how to clean cum off antique oak wood?! I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by chivvy in Sex and shit - Ejaculation - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 775.8


5394
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem.

She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."

The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires, "Is that true?"

The husband replies, "Well, not exactly - it's her that suffers, not me."
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by mickle in Sex and shit - Ejaculation - Added: 5 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 647.4


201052
Has anybody else ever wanted to shout "This is an art attack!" as they cum on their girlfriend's tits? I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by dexter501 in Sex and shit - Ejaculation - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 585.8



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