Jokes under Celebrities > JK Rowling

I am a bully. There's no two ways about it. My mother died when I was born, and ever since then I've tried to fill that void with violence.

I don't have any real friends, more like people that hang around me because they think it'll gain them some kind of street cred. I let them do it because it feels good to have a kind of gang. We all even got the same tattoo after one crazy night out.

When I was younger I was sent to a boarding school and I actually impressed a l [...]

I am a bully. There's no two ways about it. My mother died when I was born, and ever since then I've tried to fill that void with violence.

I don't have any real friends, more like people that hang around me because they think it'll gain them some kind of street cred. I let them do it because it feels good to have a kind of gang. We all even got the same tattoo after one crazy night out.

When I was younger I was sent to a boarding school and I actually impressed a lot of the teachers, but I always bullied the other kids to show them I was cool as well as brainy. When I left school I worked as a bit of a dealer, going to people's houses and selling and buying their stuff. Stuff that, to be honest, was against the law - but it made me feel big.

Soon, I began balding, and this made me look even more hard. So I started murdering people, and doing cocaine, so much in fact, I eroded nearly all of my nose. This was when I got into the criminal scene so deep that I had to change my name to avoid capture. I'd done some pretty fucked up stuff.

But I still can't kill that Potter kid.