Jokes under Crime > Squatting
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The Wife kicked me out yesterday and I had nowhere to go. My mates said I should try Squatting. Well, I've had three shits already, but I'm still homeless. |
 
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I've just read that, as from today, squatting is a criminal offence. Now I'm having to teach my dog a very confusing new command. "Stand up and shit." |
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Apparently, more than two thirds of people in this country refuse to leave a tip. I must be one of the other third, because I'm never at the tip for more than a few minutes at a time. |
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Joke
by ChrisSmallPenis in Other - Wordplay (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 6.8
| The wife and I are heading across to the neighbours for a curry and a bottle of wine, Kim and Alan are on holiday so I don't see the point in stinking our house out. |
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Sky News: Squatters to be locked up for breaking into empty properties. Genius - giving people a home free of charge for taking a home free of charge. |
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| My old Grandad used to say 'never shit on your own doorstep - there's gypsies for that'. |
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Romanian Squatters. Nobody sees them come - and if you tip the bin men a tenner - nobody sees them go. |
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Been in court this morning because I was arrested for taking a shit in every empty house in a 100 mile radius of my home. The judge said Its the worst case of squatting he had ever come across . |
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Joke
by Chancemyarm in Illness and mortality - ??? Other (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago - Current Score: 1.6
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Sky News: Government trying to make 'Squatting' illegal. Fuck me... How am I going to have a shit now!?!?!? |
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