Jokes under Sex and shit > Bestiality
|
I was looking for a new flat, and found a nice place in the centre of town that seemed ideal. "It's only £600 a month," the woman told me. "But no children or pets." I had to turn it down. It was a bargain but I wasn't willing to give up my sex life. |
 
   |
Joke
by kerrigan in Crime - Paedophilia (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 516.4
|
Girlfriend, "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boyfriend, "I've tried it once, but their arses are too tight." |
|
|
Sick of all these disgusting jokes about sex with animals. For the record, bestiality is never a laughing matter. Unless, of course, you're fucking a hyena. |
|
|
I came home late last night and my wife noticed some scratches on my neck. "What the fuck's been going on?" she yelled, "Been shagging another woman, have we?" "Of course not," I protested, "It's from my mate's cat." "Oh, well that's alright then," she said. I just don't understand that bitch. Sleeping with other women is frowned upon, but fucking a cat is acceptable? |
|
|
I was having a dirty webcam chat with a blonde last night. I said to her "How many fingers can you get inside your pussy?" She replied "Ooh, I've never tried before. Let me have a go, I'll be right back." Five minutes later she comes back breathing heavily and sweating. She tells me, "That was fun, I managed to get all ten in, but he scratched my arms to bits and shat all over my hand." |
|
|
I confessed to my girlfriend that I'd lost my previous job as a primary school teacher for having sex with someone in my care. She was horrified- "Oh my GOD! You're a paedo, get the hell away from me!" I replied quickly "No I phrased that badly, I didn't have sex with one of the children" "Oh thank God for that." she said in relief. "But I am banned from keeping rabbits for ten years" I added. |
|
Joke
by DogBot in Sex and shit - Paedophile (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 246.2
|
My wife said to me, "Do you fancy going away for a little while?" I said, "Yeah, I'd love to." "Good" she said. "Because I've just found the DVD of you shagging the cat." |
|
Joke
by Marc Gatland in Sex and shit - Bestiality - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 209.4
|
I've just had a shit and realised there's no toilet paper. After a few moments of wondering what to do, the cat strolled into the bathroom. I picked it up and did something I probably shouldn't have done. Now I'm stuck here with no toilet paper, shit round my arsehole, and cat shit on my dick. |
|
Joke
by Biscuit777 in Sex and shit - Bestiality - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 206.2
|
My mate just text me: 'What are you up to?' I text back: 'Just raping my daughter's Xmas present' He wrote: 'Lol.....You mean wrapping?' I text back: 'No, I've got her a pony' |
|
Joke
by Marc Gatland in Events - Christmas (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 198
|
I saw a dog raping a clown the other day. Animals do the funniest things |
|
Page load time: 0.1s (Startup: 0.03s, Controller: 0.06s, Template: 0.01s)
Sickipedia v3.5, served by WEBFE
el gato no es bueno
Sickipedia © 2007 - 2013
