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Jokes under Illness and mortality > Terminal Illnesses

1206571
"Dad..."

"Yes son?"

"Am I ill?"

"How can I put it... Do you like dolphins?" 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Dr. Flexi Jerkoff in Illness and mortality - Terminal Illnesses - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 169.8


980568
I've just been a bit naughty and turned a ten year old girl on.

To be fair I shouldn't have turned her life support machine off in the first place. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by niggernagger in Illness and mortality - Terminal Illnesses - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 55.8




257363
Don't you think the make a wish foundation should change their name to "no make another wish we can't do anything about that foundation." I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke submitted by blake123456789000, originally by Jimmy Carr in Illness and mortality - Terminal Illnesses - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 44.6


1402658
I dedicated my Xmas karaoke performances tonight to my terminally ill girlfriend.

She must have loved them too, 'cause she was in tears when I sung "Last Christmas". 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Bad_Mother_Fucker in Sex and shit - Girlfriend (+ 2 more) - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 41


1453964
Talk about bad luck, my mate has just been given 6 months to live. If that wasn`t bad enough the clocks then went forwards. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by PeteBennett in Illness and mortality - Terminal Illnesses - Added: 1 month, 21 days ago - Current Score: 21.8


212685
Have you heard about the new shampoo for the terminally ill??

'Touch and Go' 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by gibbonboy in Illness and mortality - Terminal Illnesses - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 16


1077694
"Can you help me, doctor?" asks the patient.

"Hmm," says the doctor. "I think I'll prescribe a course of peat treatment at a health farm."

"Will that cure me?"

"Probably not, but it'll help you get used to damp earth." 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Little Red Rooster in Other - Professions (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago - Current Score: 12


1382830
"I'm guessing the results from the test aren't good," I said as I answered the door and saw the the doctor standing there.

"Don't jump to conclusions," he replied. "I often make house calls when it's good news too."

"Really?" I asked, glancing at the lady behind him. "But I bet on those occasions, you don't bring the Macmillan Nurse with you." 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by WTD in Illness and mortality - Terminal Illnesses - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 11.2


1203029
The Make a Wish foundation arranged for me to spend the weekend with James Corden.

It's weird knowing that some dying kid hates me that much. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Dog Botherer in Celebrities - James Corden (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 10.6


899626
If the doctor was to tell me I only had 6 months to live, the first thing I would do is...

Get myself down to DFS. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by bumblesquash in Illness and mortality - Terminal Illnesses - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 10



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