Jokes under Sex and shit > Handjob
| Some people say to me, "talk to the hand because the face ain't listening," but, inevitably, the hand won't listen either. So I started talking to my own hand and, you know, things went well, one thing led to another and, before you know it, we were in my room having a great hand job. |
 
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My daughter came up to me and asked, "Can I have £30 for this thing on eBay?" "Kids today, "I replied, "When I was your age, I had to save up my money, what about getting a job?" "There's only ten minutes left on the auction." she said, "What kind of job can I do to earn £30 in ten minutes?" "Hand or blow," I said, "the choice is yours." |
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Joke
by emptyhead in Sex and shit - Oral Sex (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 293.2
| How to give a great handjob. Step 1: Use your mouth. |
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Joke
by MCTachyon in Sex and shit - Blow Job (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago - Current Score: 272.6
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I've just got myself one of those hands free kits. Or as most people call them, a "girlfriend." |
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I was getting a hand-job off my new girlfriend when I asked, "How are you so good at this?" "Years of practice," she said. "Bit of a player in your day?" I laughed. "No," she replied, "my dad had no arms." |
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Handjobs are like Pepsi. Never your first choice but you'll take it anyway. |
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| For me, homework is a lot like handjobs. I can do it myself, but usually I just pay my sister to do it. |
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| Three gay men went to sleep together in bed and in the morning the two men on the outside of the bed said that they both dreamed that they had a hand job. The man in the middle said "well that funny because I dreamed that I was Skiing" |
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Joke
by kingsam321 in Sex and shit - Gay (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 97
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My girlfriend's epileptic and flashing lights can give her a seizure. That's why I carry a torch when she's giving me a hand job. |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Illness and mortality - Epilepsy (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 89.6
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What's the difference between a handjob and getting repeatedly punched in the balls? Not much, when it's my wife giving it. |
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