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Jokes under Sex and shit > Paedophile

75056
When a man ejaculates, he comes at twenty miles per hour.

Which means it's perfectly safe to hit a child. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by P45 in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 4 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 3,683.8


241528
A man walked to a primary school at home time for the children.
One young teacher approached the man and asked him 'so which child is yours?' To which the man replied,
'I don't mind, surprise me.' 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by fiesta_09 in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 2,433.4




591078
It's so awkward when you send a private text message to the wrong person.

The other day I wrote a message, "Hey babe, thinking of U makes my cock hard, can't wait to sex U up 2night" and sent it to my 10-year-old daughter.

Imagine how embarrassing it would have been if I'd sent that to the wrong person. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by phibsboro in Sex and shit - Incest (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 2,245.2


661332
My brother just updated his status to

"I love my girlfriend <3".

I always knew he liked them young, but that is fucking ridiculous. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by gaz00 in Crime - Paedophilia (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 2,235.6


779909
Just saw a Facebook group: "Hi, I'm a bra. I touch your girlfriend's boobs every day... Jealous yet? ;D"

Joke's on them, my girlfriend doesn't need a bra yet. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by magicalmyserytour in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 2,186.8


178540
Underage girl, sucking on daddy's cock, gets jizzed on all over he.........
Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was a google image search. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by ihaveitchyballs in Sex and shit - Paedophile (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 2,141.6


922723
Didn't help myself in court yesterday.

I was arrested for child porn charges and the Judge said, "How does 5-6 years sound?"

I said, "Sexy." 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by deepnuts in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 2,021.6


919306
Being a Paedophile living in Liverpool, I try to attract girls aged 13 to 14.

As these are usually the ones with the youngest kids. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by blandy81 in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 1,870.2


1069825
I was standing there, hands trembling, my wife due home from work any time now... I reached for my youngest daughter's top - it came off with little resistance.

Her training bra was my next hurdle. Hands still trembling, I gently unclipped it and unable to control my hands I watched it as it fell to the floor.

Her short little skirt was next, I reached out and slid it off. As I ran my hands slowly over her My Little Pony panties I could feel they were already r [...]

 I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by bobbycov in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,834.6


709805
I texted my boss, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"
He answered, "I don't know."

I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning." 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Fubar in Sex and shit - Paedophile (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 1,753.6



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