Jokes under Other > Nature
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My girlfriend and I went for a walk across a frozen lake last December whilst holidaying in Greenland. She said, "Do you think the woman on the hotel reception is pretty?" I said, "You're walking on thin ice love." She said, "Ohh, rattled your cage, have I?" And then she slipped through the ice and drowned. What a hilarious misunderstanding. |
 
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Iran 2003 31,000 dead Indonesia 2004 229,000 dead Pakistan 2005 75,000 dead China 2008 69,000 dead Indonesia 2009 1,000 dead and rising Is anyone else starting to think earthquakes are a little racist? |
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Joke
by fagnut in Racism - All Races (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 434.6
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People say that marijuana is good for you because it's natural, but they don't realise that just because it's natural doesn't mean it's safe. Want to know what else is natural? Bears. |
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Joke
submitted by ives4494, originally by Travon the gentlemans rant in Other - Animals/Insects (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 252
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I was watching TV when I heard the news reader announce, "Sir David Attenborough is nearing a climax with his final episode of the TV series Frozen Planet." Now I like Frozen Planet as much as the next man, but that's just ridiculous. |
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At the auditions for a new cabaret show, the producer asks one candidate, "What can you do?" "Imitate birds," says the auditioner. "Are you joking?" sneers the producer. "People like that are ten a penny." "Well, I guess that’s that, then," says the man as he spreads his arms and flies out of the window. |
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How to tell what kind of bear is chasing you: If you're running, and you're running, and you run up a tree, and the bear follows you, it's a black bear. If you're running, and you're running, and you run up a tree, and the bear shakes you out of the tree, it's a brown bear. If you're running, and you're running, and you can't find a tree, it's a polar bear. |
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Scientists claim that Britain moves 3 inches away from America each year. Well aren't we also moving 3 inches closer to them as well, since the world is round? |
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Are you an old person suffering with insomnia?... well cheer the fuck up...at least you won't die in your sleep. |
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Two gardeners are discussing their work. "They say it's good for plants if you talk nicely to them," says one gardener. "OK then," says the other. "I'll just go and tell the weeds they're a bunch of ugly cunts." |
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I'm going on an African hunting trip down the Nile river. It's always been my dream to get some crocs. My mates say I should just get normal hiking boots, otherwise I'll look like a cunt. |
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