Jokes under Sex and shit > Underwear
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A recent study found that 35% of men have been injured while undoing a woman's bra. Actually, I can vouch for that. I got injured today while trying to undo a woman's bra. When I undid the woman in front of me in the checkout line, she turned and hit me with a can of peas. |
 
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Joke
by immortal maniac in Sex and shit - Underwear - Added: 5 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 908.6
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My daughter said, "Dad, I think our house is haunted by a poltergeist!" I said, "Don't be so ridiculous. There's no such thing as ghosts." She said, "My knickers keep disappearing. I found three pairs in your room." I said, "Yeah... Poltergeist... You're probably right." |
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This girl in a bikini stopped me to ask directions. I just kept saying to myself, "Don't stare at her tits, don't stare at her tits." Then she said, "Don't stare at whose tits?" |
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I took a girl back to my flat. "You haven't removed many bras have you?" she sighed. "What gave it away?" "The scissors, mainly." |
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Joke
by Psychic Knitwear in Sex and shit - Underwear - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 783.2
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Splashed out on some lacy knickers the other day, Didn't realise I'd have to pay for them! |
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Joke
by kurlykate in Sex and shit - Underwear - Added: 4 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 674.4
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Two guys are leaving work when one says: "The first thing I'm going to do when I get home is rip my wife's knickers off." "You're that horny?" "No, the elastic is killing me." |
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A young woman who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband’s lack of interest in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crotchless underwear she had seen in a novelty shop.
One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous and he was, as usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up, and donned her crotchless undies and a slinky negligee. [...] |
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I didn't know this at the time but, when I was a teenager, my big sister used to stash cocaine in her used underwear basket. So, technically, my drug addiction is her fault. |
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Joke
by Jimmythetwat in Sex and shit - Underwear - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 533.6
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As I knelt down with a pair of size 4 shoes in front of this sexy blonde in a short skirt, I couldn't resist a quick glance at her knickers. "Hey cheeky!" she said as she gave me a playful kick. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts isn't it?" "That's an absolutely ridiculous accusation, madam," I said sternly. "I don't fucking work here." |
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A 16 year old girl bought herself a tiny bikini. She went home and put it on, then showed her mother. She then asked, "Well, what do you think?" Her mother replied, "I think if I had worn that when I was your age, you'd be five years older." |
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