Jokes under Sex and shit > Bondage
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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing. |
 
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Joke
by ht in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 2 more) - Added: 5 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 1,437.4
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I was enjoying a bit of bum sex with my girlfriend when she turned to me and said; "Hmm mmm mmhmphmm mm hmmph!" Don't you just love gaffa tape? |
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Joke
by frankspankard in Sex and shit - Bondage - Added: 4 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 1,090.4
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My wife came out with a good gag tonight. It'll go well with the handcuffs I got. |
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It was my gran's funeral today. We buried her in bondage gear to confuse future archaeologists. |
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As me and the wife headed off on a romantic holiday we talked about what kinky things we'd like to do to each other. She said, "I've always wanted to be handcuffed." So I planted a kilo of coke in her suitcase. |
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Joke
by bumblesquash in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 2 more) - Added: 11 months ago - Current Score: 452.8
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My new girlfriend's very insecure. More rope and gaffer tape should sort that. |
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Joke
by emptyhead in Sex and shit - Bondage (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 271
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Having a problem, maybe someone here can help
My Girlfriend had been hinting that she'd like to try a bit of pain in the bedroom. I wasnt completely sure on how to administer the aforementioned pain but was sure I'd come up with something. So one night we're fooling around. I tie her up - she gets excited I blindfold her - she giggles I stub my fag out on her nipple - [...] |
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Joke
by Phillomenon in Sex and shit - Girlfriend (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 180.2
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A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, "If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life."
So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend. "What's wro [...] |
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After reading 50 Shades of Grey my wife asked me to tie her tightly to the bed. "Now what?" I asked "Hurt me!" "Ok. You have saggy tits and thick ankles." |
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Joke
submitted by eggsarnies, originally by 50 Shades of Andy Gray in Sex and shit - Bondage - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 126.4
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So my girlfriend's trussed up and tied to the bed with a dildo stuck up her arse. I'm in my Batman outfit and just as I start to piss on her she came out with the weirdest question. "Why can't we just make love like a normal couple?" she said. I was so shocked I fell off of the wardrobe. I'll never understand women! |
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Joke
by frankspankard in Sex and shit - Bondage - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 119.6
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