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Jokes under Illness and mortality > Paraplegic

145995
Walkers.

Proud sponsors of the 2020 paralympics. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by blueroshi in Illness and mortality - Paraplegic - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 476.2


53964
I met an amazing girl on the internet. Smart, sexy and uninhibited.
Of course, it turned out to be a twelve year old paraplegic boy.
I'll be honest, the sex was disappointing. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke submitted by bawbag, originally by Jimmy Carr in Illness and mortality - Paraplegic - Added: 4 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 474.6




242023
A bloke in the pub asked me , 'What team do you support?'

I said I wasn't interested in football, and he came back with, 'What, are you a poof or something?'

I replied; 'So, by your logic, I must be a homosexual, because I don't like to spend my spare time watching 22 fit young men chase each other around in their shorts?'

I'm getting used to my new wheelchair. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by proudginger in Sports - Football (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 332.4


316104
A mate of mine was completely paralysed from the neck down in a car crash.

It was an accident though, so he's not pointing any fingers. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Tinpotbob in Illness and mortality - Paraplegic - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 183


123930
I'd like to congratulate Maj Phil Packer for just completing the London Marathon after losing his legs in the war, and also reminding everyone that people in wheelchairs really are lazy bastards. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by jokester in Illness and mortality - Paraplegic - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 179


154149
What never fucking fits properly?

A paraplegic epileptic. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Pride of Lions in Illness and mortality - Epilepsy (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 179


1314609
I caught this cunt in the pub looking right at my wife's arse in a queue and invited him outside.

Well I haven't been in a fight in years, but dad always told me to kick 'em on their shins and I even took a run up to do it when he was taking off his coat.

Fuck me, absolutely no effect, not even a wince and you know when you're in trouble, so I just ran.

At first he chased, at one point gaining on me, but I said a little prayer and then thank fuck, an [...]

 I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by kamsy123 in Crime - Assault (+ 2 more) - Added: 11 months ago - Current Score: 155.6


604551
There really is nothing funnier than watching my wife trying to squeeze into a size 12 dress.

She's not fat, just a cripple. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by boombyebye in Illness and mortality - Paraplegic - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 137.4


137688
David Carradine has been made a minister, Gordon Brown said he was pleased to have someone who would never walk out of the cabinet. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by pornstar in Illness and mortality - Paraplegic - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 100.4


1330663
I challenged my mate at a race to the shops today. I didn't realise his sense of humour was disabled as well. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by SleepWithOneEyeOpen in Illness and mortality - Paraplegic - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 96.8



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