Jokes under Other > History

I saw some porn made during the second World War. The stars were a British soldier and a German woman.

The soldier slowly unbuttons the woman's blouse, kissing her neck as he does so. He then unclips her bra to reveal her round, pert breasts. He licks and then sucks gently on her erect nipples.

Next, he removes her skirt. She is wearing black stockings and suspenders, with lacy knickers. He nudges her underwear to one side so that he can spread her moist lips, teasi [...]

I saw some porn made during the second World War. The stars were a British soldier and a German woman.

The soldier slowly unbuttons the woman's blouse, kissing her neck as he does so. He then unclips her bra to reveal her round, pert breasts. He licks and then sucks gently on her erect nipples.

Next, he removes her skirt. She is wearing black stockings and suspenders, with lacy knickers. He nudges her underwear to one side so that he can spread her moist lips, teasing her with his fingers.

He then pulls her knickers off completely, and pushes her onto the bed. The Brit looks over the German, in complete control.

He kneels down and begins to lap at her pussy, slowly at first, then building up speed. He flicks her clit relentlessly. She starts to moan, clasping the headboard tightly in readiness for the climax. The end is near, and they both know it.

She wriggles on the bed, helpless at what is about to happen.

At that point, an American soldier kicks down the door, pushes the Brit to one side, and spunks in the German's face.

Is it true that Napoleon Bonapart's wife waved him off to war saying, "get blown apart Bonapart"?

Anyway this joke isn't about him, it's about Nelson. See, Nelson's on his ship in the channel. One day, he goes up on deck and takes his telescope out to scan the horizon. There he sees a Spanish ship! "Hardy!" the great man calls to his trusty second in command, "go and get my red jacket. I don't want the blood to show."
Hardy gets his red jacket [...]

Is it true that Napoleon Bonapart's wife waved him off to war saying, "get blown apart Bonapart"?

Anyway this joke isn't about him, it's about Nelson. See, Nelson's on his ship in the channel. One day, he goes up on deck and takes his telescope out to scan the horizon. There he sees a Spanish ship! "Hardy!" the great man calls to his trusty second in command, "go and get my red jacket. I don't want the blood to show."
Hardy gets his red jacket and, sure enough, they sink the Spaniard.
The next morning, Nelson comes up on deck, scans the horizon and spots two Spanish ships! "Hardy!" he calls, "my red jacket please, I do not want the blood to show." And they sink both ships.
The third day, he comes up to find ten Spanish ships! "Hardy!" he calls, "my red jacket once more, for I do not want the blood to show." Needless to say, they sink all ten Spaniards!
The next day, he goes up on deck, looks to the horizon and sees the entire Spanish Armada! He quietly lowers his telescope, and seems to contemplate what he has seen. Hardy is ready to go down for his red jacket and is patiently awaiting the command when Admiral Nelson says, "Hardy, get my brown trousers."