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Jokes under Sex and shit > Adoption

81050
I'm adopted, and I'm glad my parents were at least honest enough to tell me.

But why everyday?
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Joke by MICK THE MAG in Sex and shit - Adoption - Added: 4 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 994.4


1374495
I couldn't believe it when my 19-year old son won the lottery and didn't want anything to do with me when I rang to congratulate him.

His foster family have obviously raised him to be a right tight cunt.
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Joke by Unassigned in Sex and shit - Adoption - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 393




1318731
My children came up nervously to me and asked the awkward question about adoption. I looked at them and said with a smile, "Don't worry, there's no chance whatsoever of any of you being adopted."

My job at the orphanage is now under question.
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Joke by buddy_millet in Sex and shit - Adoption - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 332.6


1213084
I smoke far too many cigarettes these days and it's affecting the kids' health, so I'm giving them up.

Anyone recommend a decent adoption agency?
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Joke by sick.fucker in Sex and shit - Adoption - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 214.2


904104
I listened as this couple discussed the options before them.
"Shall we go for yellow again?" she asked.
"I was thinking of something darker, maybe a light brown, you know, to match the curtains," he replied.
"We could try something really dark, what about black this time?" she asked again.

It was at that point I asked Mr Pitt and Ms Jolie to continue their discussion outside of the orphanage.
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Joke by emptyhead in Sex and shit - Adoption - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 209


740622
The only thing worse than finding out you were given up for adoption would be finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by misterplod in Sex and shit - Adoption (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 138.4


905103
As soon as my girlfriend told me that she was pregnant, I vowed that my child would be brought up in a stable household with two loving, married parents.

I do hope he gets on well with the couple who adopted him.
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Joke by ray piste in Sex and shit - Adoption - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 138


1123848
A middle-aged American lady came up to my table today.

"I feel lucky," she said, calmly placing $20,000 down.

"Black, three," she added.

I'd never seen so much money.

"Black, three," I repeated.

I then began to set the wheels in motion, "Thank you Madonna," I said, picking up the telephone. "This will certainly help persuade the Malawian adoption agencies."
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Joke by emptyhead in Sex and shit - Adoption (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 127.2


82071
It was my parents 40th wedding anniversary last week and they were telling me that they're starting to feel really old.

I told them that it's never too late in life to do things that you've always wanted to do.

So they've put me up for adoption.
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Joke by MICK THE MAG in Sex and shit - Adoption - Added: 4 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 114.2


121675
My wife said we would have to make some sacrifices now that the baby is born.
I took her advice and put it up for adoption.
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Joke by bawbag in Sex and shit - Adoption - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 111.8



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