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Jokes under Crime > Drugs

36275
Interesting Human Body Facts


- The largest cell in the human body is the female egg, and the smallest is the male sperm.

- A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball (a bit bigger than a cricket ball).

- It takes food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

- The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.

- The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

- [...]

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Joke by Mintydeadman in Other - ??? Random (+ 2 more) - Added: 4 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 3,119


506013
Dear Walkers Crisps,

Your crisps are really tasty. When will you be making a full bag?
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Joke by mynameistom in Crime - Drugs - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 2,487.6




1009651
"Give us an E, mate."

"I'm an undercover police officer."

"Errrrr...
Give me an N
Give me a G
Give me an L
Give me an A
Give me an N
Give me a D
Goooooo England!"

Got away with that one, I think.
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Joke by barry89 in Crime - Drugs - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 1,079


875809
I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse.

I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.
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Joke by swampy123 in Other - Food and Drink (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 1,003.6


875053
An elephant, an ostrich and a crocodile stop a bloke in the street.
The crocodile pulls out a police badge and says, "We have reason to believe you are carrying substances of an hallucinogenic nature, Sir."
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Joke submitted by psycadeliasmith, originally by Punch magazine in Crime - Drugs - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 940.8


924573
Security stopped me at the airport last night.

He said, "Do you mind if we search your luggage?"

I said, "It depends, what for?"

He said, "Drugs."

I said, "In that case, no."
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Joke by Marc Gatland in Crime - Drugs - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 931.8


1147893
Whoever put "Too Cool to Do Drugs" on a pencil is a spastic.

Every time you sharpen it, it changes to "Cool to Do Drugs", then "Do Drugs" and eventually "Drugs".
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Joke by Flaccid T in Crime - Drugs - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 815.6


1272988
My mate died after taking an E.

Countdown's security staff don't fuck about.
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Joke by cvrock in Other - Wordplay (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 794.8


1133914
Drugs don't ruin your career.

Drug tests do.
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Joke submitted by Nevil1950, originally by Hilarious in Crime - Drugs - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 717.2


207496
Febreeze... Because your house stinks of weed and your parents will be home any minute. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Turbo-Tampon in Crime - Drugs - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 674.8



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