Jokes under Sex and shit > Breast Feeding
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I was walking down the street today, and a young mum said to her child, "If you're good, I'll buy you some sweets." I said to her, "I wish I was your son." She laughed and said, "Why, do you want some sweets?" I said, "No, I want to suck your tits." |
 
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Joke
by RossGreen88 in Sex and shit - Breast Feeding - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 906.4
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Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ? Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them. |
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Joke
by gangrath in Sex and shit - Breast Feeding - Added: 5 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 732.4
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A woman and a baby are in a doctor's surgery, where the doctor is concerned about the baby's weight.
"Is he bottle or breastfed?" asks the doctor. The woman replies, "breast". With that, the doctor orders her to strip to her waist so he can examine her breasts. After pinching her nipples and sucking and rubbing both of her breasts for some time the doctor says, "No wonder the baby is under weight - you have no milk!" The woman replies, "I [...] |
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I was staring at a woman trying to breast feed on the bus today. She said, "You're a really weird bloke." "Why?" I asked. "Because I'm staring at you?" She said, "No, because you're trying to breast feed a baby." |
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Joke
by SilverSprint in Sex and shit - Breast Feeding (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 349.4
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I was watching a woman in Waterstones cafe breast feeding. "What are you staring at?" she asked. "This is just a normal bodily function." Yet she called security on me when I pissed in her latte. |
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Joke
by bawbag in Sex and shit - Breast Feeding (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 297.6
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I walked in the lounge to find my wife breastfeeding our son. "How long do you have to do that for?" I asked. "When is he too old for it?" "Well, it's a physical bond between a mother and her child isn't it? It's only society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age." "Yeah, shut up Joe - I was talking to your mother." |
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I only have one problem with women breastfeeding in public. They never wink back. |
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Joke
by Tomeyo in Sex and shit - Breast Feeding - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 249.6
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Saw a woman breast feeding on the bus today then this old lady started screaming; "How dare you do that in a public place?! That's horrendous!" In hindsight it probably wasn't the time or the place for a wank. |
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Joke
by Dannyboy in Sex and shit - Breast Feeding - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 205.2
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I saw a black woman breast feeding her baby on the bus. "Put it away!" I shouted. "No one wants to see that." "Excuse me?" she replied. "Seriously, put a bag over its head or something." |
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I sat down opposite a woman breast feeding her baby in the doctors waiting room earlier. "What you here for?" I asked. "Its my son, he's sick," she frowned. "What about you?" "Nothing," I replied. "I just spotted you through the window." |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Sex and shit - Breast Feeding - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 101
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