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Jokes under Other > Philosophy

135730
If my kid is screaming in the bedroom, but I'm in the pub does it make a noise?

Gerry McCann? It's good to see you've not let things affect your day to day activities!
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Joke by charlie1105 in In The News - Missing Persons (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 869.2


140828
Something that annoys me about the game 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'. Now, I can understand how rock beats scissors, and how scissors beats paper.. but how the fuck does paper beat rock? What does it do? Wrap itself around the rock and leave it immobile? Why can't it do that to scissors? In fact, screw the game, why can't it do that to people? Why aren't students being suffocated by their book as they take notes during a class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anything, a rock would tear p [...]

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Joke by toiletduck in Other - Philosophy - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 816.4




158611
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it, then my illegal logging business is a success. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by blahhhhh in Crime - ??? General (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 643.6


128968
A thought. If I enter Stephen Hawking against his will, am I a rapist or a hacker? I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by FoXXyViXen in Celebrities - Stephen Hawking (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 615


200211
If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, does this mean I have found the perfect rape and murder location? I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by fagnut in Sex and shit - Murder Rape (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 551


42778
Sometimes when you cry no one sees your tears.

Sometimes when you are worried no one sees your pain.

Sometimes when you are happy no one sees your smile.

But you try having a wank on a bus - see how much fucking attention you get.

P.S. Can some one please pick me up from the police station in a few hours?
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Joke by guest1 in Other - Professions (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 483.4


142707
If you cloned yourself, and then you become attracted to yourself and ended up having sex with your clone...

does that make you gay, or are you just on the forefront of masturbation technology?
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Joke by isaacjcksn in Other - Philosophy (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 381.8


251793
Why has no one invented bubble wrap where the bubbles are filled with helium so that your packages are lighter and thus cheaper to post? I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke submitted by Carlin, originally by Percy of halfbakery.com in Other - Philosophy - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 378.2


127156
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it...

...will the local MP claim for it on expenses?
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Joke by Fyffes in Celebrities - Politicians (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 338.4


628342
My mate was yapping on about how "logic can prove anything."

I said, "Nothing is better than eternal happiness, right?"

He agreed.

I said, "A ham sandwich is better than nothing, right?"

Once again, he nodded.

I said, "Therefore, logic dictates a ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness, right?"

That shut him up.
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Joke by ilovelamp in Other - Philosophy - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 302.8



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