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Jokes under Celebrities > Simon Cowell

291388
Headline of the day

SIMON COWELL HAS MASSIVE NUMBER TWO 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by dandioyy in Celebrities - Simon Cowell - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,762.8


157557
I auditioned for Britain's Got Talent when it visited Cardiff. But, shockingly, I was turned down.
That's right, my signature 'balancing a Mars Bar on my head for ten minutes' failed to impress Simon Cowell.
He said, "Sorry, but Osama Bin Laden's had a Bounty on his head for eight years." 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Rawb-er-toe in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 1,591.6




507103
There's a new film called 'Simon Cowell'.

It hasn't come out yet. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by mkurban in Celebrities - Simon Cowell - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 603.2


675338
'100% Yes!' '1000% Yes!!' '1,000,000% Yes!!!'

I wish the X Factor judges would stop trying to top each other...

and just top themselves. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by CKLegend in Other - Wordplay (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 419.4


292418
I saw some pictures of Simon Cowell's reaction to Joe McElderry failing to get to No.1

I have to say, he looked really pissed off riding on his jet ski in Barbados. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by ray piste in Celebrities - Simon Cowell - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 351.2


728597
I don't think Simon Cowell's quite realised the enormity of what he promised two weeks ago, "If Wagner wins, I'm leaving the country"

After that statement, let's put it like this: Even if Wagner came on stage stark naked, not even singing, fucking the dug up body of the late Queen Mother with a sparkler hanging out his arse... He'll still get my vote. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by miafay123 in TV - Talent Shows (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 342.2


28981
What happened when Simon Cowell took Viagra?

He grew taller. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by StickyRing in Sex and shit - Viagra (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 297.6


74376
Simon Cowell is more powerful than Jesus.

Sure, Jesus can turn water into wine, but Simon Cowell can turn shit into money. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Vereonix in Celebrities - Simon Cowell - Added: 4 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 285.8


201997
Simon Cowell has said that the prime time TV clash between The X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing is "crazy".

According to the reality TV judge, it's unfair to force the public to choose between the two popular shows.

Wow, if only there was some miraculous way that the public could watch one of the shows, while simultaneously recording the other to watch later on....

That truly is the stuff that dreams are made of... 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by siyoung91 in TV - Talent Shows (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 284.4


250866
Someone paid £19,000 to have an hour with Simon Cowell, I asked myself for £19,000 for an hour with Simon Cowell what would I do?

Well do you know the scene from Casino Royale, where James Bond is tied up naked to the seat with no bottom to it while being whipped with the rope with a big knot in the end of it attached to electrodes?

Well I would let him do that to me for an hour. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by stevo21 in Sex and shit - Sadomasochism (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 213.2



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