Jokes under Illness and mortality > Lazy

156006

So it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, thats why fat people are so fucking jolly then.

Joke by kingthanwi in Illness and mortality - Obesity (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 1,112

Illness and mortality > Obesity
Illness and mortality > Lazy

188028

What's black and sits in the lounge, in front of the TV, doing absolutely nothing, all day and every day ? My sofa, of course. You don't think I'd let a nigger in the house, do you ?

Joke by Fiddlerboy in Racism - Black (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 692.6

Racism > Black
Illness and mortality > Lazy

286490

I've got a feeling my missus is shagging someone behind my back. I don't really care to be honest. In fact, when I finish posting this joke, I might even turn around and have a look.

Joke by furiousg in Illness and mortality - Lazy (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 576.6

Illness and mortality > Lazy
Illness and mortality > Procrastination

838189

Interviewer: "Now, could you describe yourself in three words for me?" Me: "Lazy."

Joke by smithyt2100 in Illness and mortality - Lazy - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 368.2

Illness and mortality > Lazy

151631

You know you've been a Sickipedia user for too long when you can't be arsed to read anything that's more than three lines.

Joke by Fiddlerboy in Other - Internet (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 360

Other > Internet
Illness and mortality > Lazy

271630

Oliphaunts. The point at which JRR Tolkien thought "Fuck it, I can't be arsed anymore."

Joke by siyoung91 in Other - Books (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 341.6

Other > Books
Illness and mortality > Lazy

441277

Last night my wife called me a lazy cunt. I almost fell off my stairlift.

Joke by oxcock in Illness and mortality - Disability (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 301.4

Illness and mortality > Disability
Illness and mortality > Lazy

183152

Is anyone else tired, or is it just M.E.?

Joke by allmadeup in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 293

Other > Wordplay
Illness and mortality > Lazy

1256518

I said to my wife this morning, "I was just reading in a scientific paper now, that blades of grass can actually feel pain. Amazing isn't it?" "Nice try dickhead. The lawnmower's in the shed."

Joke by TheRizzler in Illness and mortality - Lazy - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 272

Illness and mortality > Lazy

1251815

I've put my wife on a weight loss programme as all she does all day is sit and watch TV. So I've Sellotaped the remote control to the cat's back and bought a dog.

Joke by TheRizzler in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 173

Sex and shit > Wife
Illness and mortality > Lazy

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