Jokes under Crime > Animal Cruelty
| My grandad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh zoo. |
 
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Joke
by sick.fucker in Other - One Liner (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 1,758.8
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What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo. |
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Joke
by Sgt-Syphilis in Crime - Animal Cruelty - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,726
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I was walking down the high street the other day when a woman came up to me and said, "A cow was murdered to make that jacket, you know." So I sneered at her and said, "I didn't realise there were any witnesses - now it looks like I'll have to kill you too." |
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Joke
by mamma mia in Crime - Murder (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,117
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As I put my fork into the lamb, I was shocked at how much blood came out. "This isn't cooked properly!" I shouted. "Get the fuck off my land!" replied the farmer. |
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The first present I opened this Christmas was a pen knife. I was so excited, I used it to cut open all my other presents. Shame about the puppy. |
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| Supermarkets are only there so you buy things you don't need. For example, during the summer heatwave, I bought 8 cans of dog food. When I got back to my car, however, I discovered I didn't need it. |
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Joke
by spunkymonkey12 in Illness and mortality - Death (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 612.8
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My dog does a somersault everytime Man Utd score a goal. Sometimes he does two somersaults, it depends how hard I kick him. |
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Joke
by furiousg in Sports - Football (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 593.4
| I've just discovered my dog has a latex allergy. God knows how I'm going to explain that to the vet. |
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For thousands of years, human beings have milked cows and consumed the milk. It just makes you wonder: who actually discovered that cows could be milked and what was he TRYING to do? |
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Joke
by twayne in Other - Food and Drink (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 528.8
| So this baby seal walks into a club. |
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