Jokes under Racism > German
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A German walks into a library and asks for a book on war. The librarian replies, "No mate, you'll lose it." |
 
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Joke
by rickroll13 in Other - Library (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 2,076.2
| So the Germans have said that England's "goal" being disallowed is fine and acceptable as it was simply karma for the Russian Linesman Incident in '66. Well said Germany, and on a similar note I have opened a wonderfully legitimate new recreational shower chamber that 6 million of you should pop along to, free of charge, and discuss the ins and outs of your karma theory. |
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Joke
by Skrogie in Sports - Football (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 2,030.8
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GERMAN JOKES
Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital. A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family. Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem. What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat [...] |
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I was clearing out my late German Grandfather's closet and decided to give all his old clothes to the local charity shop.
I handed over the bag of clothes to the shop assistant who was rummaging through it when a horrified expression formed on her face. "How dare you bring this uniform in to my shop" she exclaimed angrily. "This is a symbol of pain, shame and humiliation." Hugely embarrassed at this turn of events, I quickly took [...] |
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My boss (who is German) had the audacity to tell me there is no 'I' in 'team'. However, he got quite upset when I casually pointed out that there is a 'U' in 'holocaust'... |
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| I was once bitten on the arse by a German Shepherd, but he apologised afterwards and even introduced me to his dog. |
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Some kid was playing up and being a right twat in Tesco, so his dad gave him a smack. This German woman comes over and tapped the dad on the shoulder and said, "In my country we don't smack our children." He replied, "Well, in our country we don't gas our Jews." |
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Joke
by 8PintsOnYourDoorstep in Racism - German - Added: 5 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 583.6
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I've just heard on the news that Germany is considering a total ban of violent video games following Tim Kretschmer's shooting spree at his school in Winnenden, on the basis that they incite people to do violent things. Fucking genius. Germany, a country whose history was largely free of violence until video games, of course. |
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Joke
by Incognito in Racism - German (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 569.6
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In response to ze jibes that ve Germans haf no humour. Ze fuhrer vas in a restaurant, ze waiter asks do you want wein or juice? Ze fuhrer answers; "Wein. Ze juice have been exterminated!" |
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Scientists have just announced that you are more likely to die of what your Grandad died of, rather than your father as first thought. For fuck's sake....if anyone sees any German snipers knocking about please let me know.... |
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