Jokes under Sex and shit > Blow Job
| There was a survey on why men liked blowjobs - 5% liked the look, 15% liked the feel and the other 80% liked the silence! |
 
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On the eve of our anniversary my wife and I agreed that whoever woke up first in the morning should wake the other one with oral sex. Come the morning I was up first so I slowly pulled back the covers... ... and stuck my cock in her mouth. |
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by CookingMuslims in Sex and shit - Women (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 2,255
| I was sucking off this bird last night when I thought, "Wait a minute..." |
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by smugb in Sex and shit - Transsexualism (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 2,085.4
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My wife told me that she wanted to give me a deep throat blow job today. "Really!?" "No," she replied, "April Fogarbnsrgabsjg...." That'll teach her to try to be funny... |
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by FT232 in Sex and shit - Blow Job (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 1,942.4
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I am naive. The lads in the pub were saying how good a blowjob is. I didn't know what a blowjob was so I just agreed so as not to look daft. Later on at home I asked the girl I was seeing if she knew. "Do you know what a blowjob is?" She got up and walked out of the room, which was upsetting as she was sucking my dick at the time. |
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by cheeky in Sex and shit - Blow Job (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,844.2
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I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous! I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can." I said, "I think my cock tastes funny..." |
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submitted by dirtydogg, originally by Jimmy Carr in Sex and shit - Blow Job - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 1,620
| I can't be the only guy who mentally adds my cock to the sight of a girl yawning. |
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by chart cat in Sex and shit - Blow Job - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 1,614.6
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What do most girls say when they experience their first orgasm? Gulp. |
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by world peace in Sex and shit - Blow Job - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,165
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A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my load in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?" |
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I was clubbing the other night and I was totally pissed. I walked up to this beautiful blonde and said, "Duck my sick!" She said, "You're drunk - don't you mean suck my dick?" I puked on her and said... "No!" |
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