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Jokes under Events > Mothers Day

368569
My wife misunderstands Mother's Day.

She is not my fucking mother and if our 2 year old daughter doesn't love her enough to go out and buy her a present it's not my problem.
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Joke by rkell in Events - Mothers Day - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 780.4


905970
On Mother's Day, I always write poems about my mother's sudden death.

She has said she'd prefer some flowers.
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Joke by Fubar in Events - Mothers Day - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 549.6




368221
My mate just texted me by accident wishing me a happy Mother's Day.

Fortunately, she stayed over last night so I could pass the message on for him.
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Joke by bigstu47 in Events - Mothers Day - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 543.4


1290266
"Well I know someone who's not getting a Mother's day card!" I shouted.

As I walked out of the abortion clinic.
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Joke by anonymous1990 in Events - Mothers Day - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 444.2


181529
A day when mothers and sons can reform their bond with one another.
We call it 'Mother's Day', the Italian's call it 'Festa Della Mamma'.
Pakis call it 'Valentines Day'
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Joke by fuckerss1 in Events - Mothers Day - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 391.2


102611
Unwanted mothers day present for sale.

Please contact Mr J.Tweed.
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Joke by millsy2k9 in In The News - Celebrity Death (+ 2 more) - Added: 4 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 322.4


906167
"I'm the mother!"

"No, I'm the mother."

"No! I am!"

"I want to be the mother."

"Listen you cunt! Without me you're a fucking penniless nobody, remember that. Now then. Who's the mother?"

"You are Elton."
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Joke by illegalnature in Events - Mothers Day - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 310.6


906143
Mothers Day...

...Or as I like to call it, 'Spend a fucking fortune on the wife, on behalf of the kids, and hopefully you'll get your leg over Day'.
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Joke by stash in Events - Mothers Day (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 301.6


906119
Happy Mother's Day to all my neighbours on the estate.

Remember: if you go out for a meal, take it easy on the WKD as you've got school tomorrow and its nearly GCSE time.
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Joke by bradfordlad in Other - Children (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 286


906532
According to Kate McCann, today is one of the hardest days to bear, when it is all brought back to her.

A sunny day when you leave the windows open.
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Joke by Rhs1 in Events - Mothers Day - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 238.4



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