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Jokes under Illness and mortality > Premature Baby

897871
Sadly, my wife recently gave birth to our first son and it turned out that he was stillborn. It's been a very difficult time for us, but we eventually decided to name him so that we can still remember him as a human being. Through tears, my wife suggested that we name him after something innocent that reminded us of childhood and youth.

I don't think 'Blue Peter' was the best thing i could have said. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by matt.hellens in Illness and mortality - Premature Baby - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 334


410889
I went to the hospital the other day and told the doctor my baby was born 9 months early.

She asked to see it, so I came on her face. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by bemister89 in Illness and mortality - Premature Baby - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 303




429783
My pregnant wife thinks all my jokes are childish, and never finds them funny, and yet she'll laugh at the most immature, stupid stuff, like foetal ejaculation.

We were watching TV, and she said, "I think the baby is cumming!" and then literally pissed herself. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by ElGringoBandito in Illness and mortality - Premature Baby - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 55


1181174
I Dont think a still born baby should get a birth certificate,
They didn't exactly do a good job of being born. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by MAGG0T in Illness and mortality - Premature Baby - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 35.2


1131152
My wife rang me in the pub the other night. She was in floods of tears and said she had to have an emergency home delivery.

I couldn't think why she should be so upset about a bit of shopping. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by shortly in Illness and mortality - Premature Baby - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 19.4


487569
Putting a joke on sickipedia is like a pre-mature birth.....they normally get buried before reaching 1 I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Kriscotw9 in Illness and mortality - Premature Baby - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 19


862582
Went to the doctors with my girlfriend today to get the results of her scan.

"I'm afraid it's bad news. We've found an ugly looking growth in her uterus" he explained.

"Holy shit! She's got cancer?" I cried

"No, it's worse" he said, "She's pregnant with your child"

Bastard. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by kizer in Illness and mortality - Premature Baby - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 6.8


1296412
Good to see my son takes after me.

He came far too early. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by pre dictor in Illness and mortality - Premature Baby - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 6.6


995048
My wife gave birth to our first daughter today , she was a month and a half premature so only weighed five pound fifteen and three quarters of an ounce.
The midwife said she'd round it up to six pound dead.

I'm sure there are better ways to break that kind of news. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by boombyebye in Illness and mortality - Premature Baby - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 6.4


686169
Went into an abortion clinic the other day. They boasted "Service with a smile!"

God I love Henry Hoovers! 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by aledilltud in Other - Children (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 6.2



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