Jokes under Racism > Kiwi
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A Kiwi and an Aussie were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer.
After a while the Aussie says to the Kiwi, "If I was to sneak over to your house and made wild passionate love to your wife while you were off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?" The Kiwi crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Wel [...] |
 
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Joke
by bobbydgg in Racism - Kiwi (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 1,007.2
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A Kiwi walks into a pub with a parrot on his shoulder. The barman says, "Bugger me, mate, that's a fancy looking thing. Where'd you get that?" The parrot replied, "Down at Centrelink mate, there's hundreds of the bastards!" |
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An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: "G'day bloke! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?" Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie." Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?" Dog: "Doin' alright." The Kiwi gets a look [...] |
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MSN News: 'New Zealand Remembers 29 Dead Miners'. I should hope so, this was quite a recent event. |
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A man walking through a field sees another man behind a sheep, sweating and grunting. "Hi," says the man. "You shearing?" The man with the sheep replies, "No. Fuck off and get your own!" |
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When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's Amore. But; When you're hit by a jug, in a South Auckland pub, THAT'S a Māori. |
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How to speak New Zealand
Say out loud for full effect! Milburn - capital of Victoria Peck - to fill a suitcase Pissed aside - chemical which kills insects Pigs - for hanging out washing with Pump - to act as agent for prostitute Pug - large animal with a curly tail Nin tin dough - computer game Munner stroney - soup Min - male of the species Mess Kara - eye makeup McKennock - person who fixes cars [...] |
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What do you call 15 guys sitting around the TV watching the Rugby World Cup final? The All Blacks. |
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Why can't Kiwi blokes take their girlfriends to the rugby? They eat all the grass. |
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What do you call a kiwi sheep dog? A pimp. |
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