Jokes under Sex and shit > In Laws
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I was at a once in a lifetime corporate hospitality at a premier football game and I got an urgent call from the wife saying her mum's been hit by a bus and has only hours to live.
Fifteen minutes later, I'm at the hospital and the wife's hugging me. "Thank-you darling, I'm so sorry you'll miss your football." "Don't worry, love, I wouldn't miss this - I'm taping it and I'll watch it later." God knows why she got so upset when I started s [...] |
 
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I can't believe my in-laws took sides when our marriage ended. I mean, for fuck sake they visit her nearly every day and haven't dropped in to see me once, and my prison is on the way to her cemetery. |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Crime - Murder (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 490.6
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I can't believe my mother-in-law persuaded my wife to leave me. And to think, I thought badly of her all these years. |
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My mother-in-law asked me, "If you hate me so much, why is my photo on the fireplace?" I replied, "To keep the kids away from the fire." |
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My wife said last night, "Do you realise my mother is coming over for dinner in 5 minutes?" I replied, "Yes I know, I'm getting ready now" "That sounds like her car pulling up outside" "No, that's my taxi, see you later" |
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I recently received the heartbreaking news that my girlfriend slept with my dad. At least this means my parents are back together. |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Sex and shit - Incest (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 297
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I watched as my wife sat sobbing on the sofa earlier. "I need someone to give me a hug," she said, "and tell me everything is going to be OK." "Would you like me to phone your mother then?" I grinned. "Fuck off, you sick cunt! She's only been dead 10 minutes." |
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Joke
by Unassigned in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 288.6
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It was terribly hard to tell my wife of her mother's death. I couldn't stop laughing. |
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Joke
by Mr Stu Pidtwat in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 277.2
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I wasn't too keen on the idea of gay parenting until I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized: No mother-in-law. |
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Joke
by Islander in Sex and shit - Gay (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 272.2
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The wife and I had to go to the hospital to see the mother-in-law. The doctor said, "I'm afraid the patient is critical." I said, "We already fucking know that. What's else is wrong with the bitch?" |
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