Jokes under Crime > Theft
| When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. |
 
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Joke
submitted by issachunt, originally by Emo Philips in Crime - Theft (+ 2 more) - Added: 5 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 5,424.8
| Just bought a Liverpool FC advent calendar. Fucking typical, all the windows are boarded up and some cunts nicked all the fucking chocolate. |
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Joke
by phantom88 in Crime - Theft (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 2,554.4
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What's large, black and steals your credit cards? Sony Playstation 3 |
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Joke
by amosthegross in Crime - Theft (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 1,273
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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can go into a convenience store without Robin. |
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Joke
by kdivers in Crime - Theft (+ 2 more) - Added: 5 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 1,261.6
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I don't understand Dragons Den. Surely if you're looking for a large amount of money for investment, you would simply steal it from the tables sitting in front of you? |
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Harry is visiting his grandma. She complains about the high cost of living. "When I was a girl, you could go out with a shilling and come back home with a dozen eggs, two pints of milk, a pound of bacon, half a pound of tea and a fresh chicken." "Yes," says Harry, "that's inflation for you." "It's nothing to do with inflation," says grandma, "it's all them fucking CCTV cameras they have nowadays." |
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I probably shouldn't have driven home from the pub last night... Especially as I fucking walked there in the first place. |
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| You have to hand it to muggers... |
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Why did the black boy fall off his bike? He didn't. He fell off your bike. |
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Why should you never run over a Chav on a bike? It's probably your bike. |
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