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Jokes under Sex and shit > Desparation

250960
I went to see a spiritual healer the other day and she told me that I needed to 'release my third eye'.

Strange request I thought, but got my cock out nonetheless..
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Joke by SinCity in Sex and shit - Desparation - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 159.2


392963
I'm sitting at the bar. This big guy sits down next to me, a construction worker, and we start talking about nuclear war.
I say to him, 'Look, you hear the sirens go off, the missiles are on their way, you got 20 minutes to live: what are you gonna do?'
He said, 'I am gonna make it with anything that moves.'
He asked me what I was gonna do. I said, 'I'm going to try and keep perfectly still.'
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Joke by white assasin in Sex and shit - Desparation - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 85




1302449
My mates call me 'The Cat' when we go out on the pull.

I'm not sleek or stealthy, but whenever I appear the birds always scatter.
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Joke by 8 ace in Sex and shit - Desparation (+ 1 more) - Added: 11 months ago - Current Score: 70.6


186220
Old enough to count, old enough to mount.

If there's grass on the wicket, its time to play cricket.

Any hole's a goal... Except a manhole.

If they're old enough to pee, they're old enough for me.
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Joke by Randomage in Sex and shit - Desparation (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 70


868275
My mates really are hilarious.

They acted so shocked when I told them that my wife was diagnosed with HIV.
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Joke by Osama bin Fritzl in Sex and shit - Desparation - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 67.8


906697
What do you call a fat woman on a blind date?

A cab home.
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Joke by bssjonny in Sex and shit - Desparation - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 56.8


1245727
I went up to a chubby lass in the club and said,"you've dropped something."

"Let me guess - your jaw," she smirked.

"No," I replied, "my standards. It's ten minutes to closing time."
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Joke by 8 ace in Sex and shit - Desparation (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 37.8


1458520
Just got a job as a 'refuse collector' and it's amazing how much useful stuff you find in people's bins.

This morning, I found a load of condoms.

They'll be fine, after a good rinse.
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Joke by James Wallace in Sex and shit - Desparation - Added: 1 month ago - Current Score: 27.2


156558
Brb, I think I heard a girl say "desperate" about 3 miles away. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by isaacjcksn in Sex and shit - Desparation - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 26


821658
I think my sat nav is broken
I asked it to take me to a desperate virgins house, and it said you have arrived at your destination
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Joke by craigd in Sex and shit - Desparation - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 24.2



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